The VIP Brat: A Study in Contrast!

Here we’re talking about only two compartments inside a particular AC 2-Tier coach in a particular daily train under the Indian Railways that departs a particular originating station at around noontime and reaches the destination city early morning the next day. The train is popular because it is superfast and always on time. That fateful noon too, the train was ready for boarding about one hour before departure. We cut to the inside of that particular coach having those two compartments for our contrasting study. Two elderly couples were in a state of considerable distress. One of them, both technically senior citizens, had been allotted two upper berths and the husband was at his wits end how to proceed, because his wife was being taken for check-up after surgeries in both of her knees—she could hardly walk and her climbing up the berth was a sheer impossibility. The husband was also on the wrong side of the sixties, but he thought he could manage the climbing once he managed a lower berth at least for his wife. Luckily for him, he found a much younger but understanding passenger who was traveling alone and agreed to adjust his lower berth for the lady.

In the next compartment another elderly couple, the husband being a genuine senior citizen and his wife approaching the landmark fast, was sulking apart from being distressed since early morning when the Railway text message came informing them that they were allotted one lower berth and a side upper berth—the lower berth at the third compartment of the coach and the other berth at the end. The husband always hated that side upper berth even in his younger days, because he always found it inconvenient and awkward to climb up. In consultation with his wife he decided not to take the risk of climbing up that berth at this age, and they both agreed to share the lower berth for the night. However, the expected arrival of the TTE infused them with some hope, maybe he’d be able to do some adjustments.

Since the husband of the first couple had his second upper berth in the next compartment he came presently to deposit his backpack there, and glanced at the other passengers. Noticing the dejected yet surrendered second couple he approached them with the usual pleasantries. And eventually they shared their stressful stories of the Indian Railways trying to despatch them up, rather too early!

The husband of the second couple observed ruefully, “You know! The advanced computerized booking system doesn’t bother at all about our age or physical attributes, they allot the berths as they come. And the human fellas behind the system always express their helplessness! Some progress!”

“Still, perhaps the TTE can help if some berths can be adjusted! This lower berth opposite yours is not yet occupied.” the other senior citizen opined.

Whatever hope they had of some adjustments evaporated that very moment as two servile attendants escorted a young boy of about eighteen years of age and right royally installed him on the very lower berth they talked about.

Wife of the second couple made a cardinal mistake sometime after the spectacle. Acting upon her motherly instinct she addressed the boy sweetly, asking him if he could mind climbing up the side upper berth for the sake of people older than his parents, and only for the night. She got a snub with the most brutally shortened and abrupt ‘no’. Her husband murmured, “Don’t make such terrible mistakes, my dear lady! Do you think any sensible human being would ever agree to give up a lower berth that ensures a window seat for a godforsaken upper berth, that too on the sides?”

The TTE did come eventually. As expected, he expressed his total helplessness to help against the wishes of the master computers. He made no promise of adjustments as he moved on to check the other berth-takers.

For the rest of afternoon and the evening Railway staff and uniformed catering pros kept on coming to the boy asking him about his comfort and entertaining him with his food preferences. At every major station halt multiple food packets arrived for him, and occasionally he brought up a pal from somewhere to share the food as both of them devoured in blissful and merry oblivion.

The attendants came again to make sure he sleeps well and in full comfort for the night. Much earlier than that everybody in the coach knew he was the son of some high-ranking railway officer.

The VIP brat lay down full stretch and luxuriously on the berth surfing his mobile phone even as the senior citizen of the first couple left his handicapped wife behind and laboriously climbed up to the upper berth above the brat. While the second couple moaned and groaned throughout the night as they tried to accommodate themselves in reverse positions on the single lower berth and struggled to find their respective leg and torso spaces. In one of his countless toss-n-turns the husband made what he thought a devastating comment, “No! human fellas behind the computerized booking system are not as helpless against their master computers as we thought! Human intervention is still possible and exists for every single train in the country! However, this intervention works only for the VIPs or the VVIPs or their respective brats! No wonder, at what ease the other VIP brats drive their dads’ imported SUVs and keep on mowing down, maiming and killing useless commoners like us at will!” 

Two Drivers with Nothing in Common!

 

In present times it’s common to find the soothing slogan ‘help is just a call away’ at every step of life while in actuality it could be ‘help is just an eternity away’, particularly for elderly people whose perception of them being burdens on the booming younger community is so very tantalizingly turned into a reality by the latter! Of course, we cannot generalize because there are good souls—younger or older— still available on our tortured earth. Just the other day we encountered two app cab drivers that uphold and differential both the statements made above. 

We had to catch a late-night flight. As usual we, I and my wife, both elderly and I a senior citizen, had to somehow drag and carry our bags and heavy suitcases down the stairs round to the street corner where the cab was supposed to pick us up, because we didn’t want to wait for eternity for ‘help’, and we didn’t mind that at all out of experience! In that laborious process the cab driver called saying he was already on location and insisted that that was the right location despite my pointing out that the location was shown very clearly on the app. The driver’s tone was very casual, indifferent and bereft of human emotions. Anyway, he was at last persuaded to proceed to the location that we reached painstakingly.

 

The cab stopped beside us. The driver sat like a statue in his seat and the only movement he made was to open the boot for us. We really struggled to load the things inside the narrow boot. It was very hard for me as I had to lift the heaviest suitcase with both my hands and then adjust it inside. Well, I assured myself, the driver was just one of the multiplying ‘casual’ community and there was absolutely no point expecting help from him nor finding fault with him. Finally, getting ourselves installed inside he did the favor of driving us toward the destination; however, he did it casually and carelessly too, narrowly averting a bump into a vehicle in front on the way. Ditto was his behavior at the airport. In fact, he wanted to abandon us at the first gate he found even though the right gate was also recorded on the app. After delivering us at the right gate on my insistence he sat on like a statue, apart from opening the boot again. Fearing the driver would run away once I settle the fare then and there, I immediately alighted from the cab and looked for a trolley first. Then, again that laboriously process of unloading the boot and loading the trolley. After we finished doing that, I made the payment. All the time the driver sat in his driving seat.

 

Reaching the destination airport I again booked an app cab and waited in the allotted alley. Sighting the cab at a distance I motioned the driver to come up to the place where we stood which the driver did promptly. And then the driver not only opened the boot but also left his seat to help us load, to our hearts’ content and gratification. All the way he talked in a very friendly and homely way, informing us of the weather in the city and the changes that have been taking place of late. Arriving at our residence the driver again left his seat and helped us unload and carry the luggage up to the steps. He waited till we entered the building, and only then he drove away. I waved him a loving goodbye.

 

It’s indeed a solace that at the time when our Planet Earth seems to racing into the thick of a torrid and very uncertain future the good souls, indeed a raging minority, are still not drying up entirely.

(I was happy to find Blogger is taking the intended photos again when I checked out the last time. Hope it stays that way so that I get encouraged to be more regular with my posts. Nowadays without even photos, the videos are the buzzword, post are going to attract even a stray reader!)

The Silence of the Lions!

 

There should absolutely be no doubt that our intention here is not to discuss or re-review the all-time epic movie ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ (1991). However, we still hope to derive some brownie points from the movie title about our proposed speculation on the phenomena of the silences of any kind—wholly related to the animal world. Now, this ‘silence’ of the ‘lambs’ is very clear in its obvious manifestation of a paralyzing terrifyingly petrifying fear of the profoundest kind, because the lambs are basically defenseless animals having no effective systems to ward off the free-flowing predators. They have no other option but to remain silent which is not so often of the discreet or non-discreet variety, because, again, they have no other practical choice. Unless, of course, should some marauding defenders appear in great numbers to fight for the rights of the lambs.  

As our fully intended title suggests, it’s about the silence of any other species of animals except for those similar to the lambs, that is to say, differentiating the herbivorous from the predatory carnivorous ones. While it’s very natural, as we’ve already discussed, for the herbivores to maintain a dazed silence very often in their daily existence it’s intriguing as to why the carnivores should consider observing silence at all. And that too, of the mighty lions—the uncrowned king of the animals. Since we’d already committed ourselves to having our speculation on this there’s no escape route immediately available for us.

So then, let’s consider as to why the mighty lions could suddenly fall silent, if ever at all. Some basic reasons do come to our speculative mind or should we say intellect: that the species of the lions might have perceived some weird notion of losing their majority in the jungles; that they’ve become increasingly aware of the tremendous growth and development of an unknown species; that, more or less as a consequence of the previous two, their hard-earned title as ‘The King of the Animals’ has been coming under a palpable threat; and that, despite their constant vigil, the canny species of the jackals, the wolves and also the somewhat nonchalant hyenas have been able to accommodate themselves with more and more meat bones and thus looking ominously empowered to corner them.

But we can easily give a counter to each of the possible reasons: even if they lose majority which is as impossible as a day collapsing into a night at noontime they’d still be able to command the animal world thanks to their time-tested might. Yes of course, new species do come up while old species wane; however, the mighty lions have not, of late, shown any decline in their claw-punch power and as their illustrious existential history amply demonstrates they’re immensely capable of getting any perceptible or real threat nipped in the bud. Combined with these two strengths the title threat can be easily overlooked. And, of course, the lions should hardly be bothered about what the lesser ones do all the time; at best, the mischievous jackals or wolves or hyenas would only to able to give a bad name to the jungle kingdom, maybe one more time.

How is it even possible to imagine the lions would growl no more? The reverberating rich baritone, the majestic and the supremely beautiful arrogant growls that constantly mystify the jungle and that echo through the days and nights, unceasingly! About to go into oblivion? No, absolutely not! Our speculation is baseless and is utterly bereft of any semblance of a reason! And just for the record: the prowling predators of any kind or species do always observe the customary moments of a strategic silence before they launch themselves overpoweringly on their prey!

The Datas of Petty Things!

Don’t confuse the ‘data’ in its statistical implications, here it means ‘giver’ (as per some Indian languages) or rather a ‘service provider’—the latter being the most suitable one for our purpose. Because this story refers to a DTH service provider; a service provider that is believed to have legendary origins as far as its services in a range of arenas is concerned. And this story is as told to me by a friend, and I’ve still kept it in first person, meaning him, the narrator.

                                                                                   *

One fine morning as I switched on my modest television set I got setup for an unpleasant surprise, literally out of the blue! The message from the service provider, the Dataslay, got fixated at the baseline of the screen, telling me that my monthly charges of such and such amount are due in four days. Why! I paid an amount much higher than the monthly charges less than a month back, and as per the text message, sent by the service provider to my mobile phone immediately after the payment, my due date was still about twenty days away.

 

I thought it was a mistake which is likely to be rectified in the next two or three days, definitely before the incorrect due date. This thought was in respect of the legendary DATAs who, I persisted, couldn’t possibly cheat an insignificant but regularly-paying customer over an utterly insignificant amount of about 200 rupees. But I was dreadfully wrong.

 

The baseline notification refused to budge, and on the day before the recharge date to prevent deactivation I had to ring up the Dataslay Helpline. I told the lady executive my peculiar problem. To my horror, she didn’t know anything, in all her articulated innocence! I couldn’t believe this: she must be having my account right before her on the computer screen with all the details and the billing statements for months or even years stored there! I repeated my issue telling her to explain how on earth my monthly charges could suddenly increase by about 200 bucks without any new subscribed channels or packages or anything from my side in the last few months. But she persisted with her innocence.

 

She said they were very sorry for the inconvenience thus caused and would do everything possible so that my account doesn’t get deactivated. She kept on asking me what was the package or the extra channels I subscribed to which I told her to check on my account right before her. But she preferred to ignore it. And then she not only did offer an immediate solution but implemented it in an instant without giving me any time to consider it: that my account is re-subscribed with the economical basic package; that my monthly charges become less than the earlier regular amount as, I understood later, all of my additionally subscribed channels have disappeared; and that my new recharge date is in the coming two days.

 

I got as brutally surprised as I was horrified to watch the new notifications on my TV screen. The same evening I sent them an email mentioning all the details and even copy-pasting their previous text message after the payment I made last. The reply mail informed me that I’d be contacted within the next twenty-four hours. At around noontime next day, one male executive contacted me, again asking for the details. Dear me! What details they want now! I just told him that I needed an explanation as to how my monthly charges inexplicably    increased by 200 rupees. At last showing some concern he asked for a few minutes, assuring me that he’d get back soon.

 

However, hours later a lady executive called me, again asking me for the details. As I began by saying she should be the best placed to know she cut the line. In the following three hours there were two miscalls—I noticed that the calls were of extreme short duration so that, perhaps, I didn’t have the time to answer. Exasperated now, I embarked upon a frantic internet search for the top managers of Dataslay and found one top manager whose email address was available. I sent a mail detailing everything about the issue, including the response received so far.

 

Yet nothing happened. Except for me finding another two miscalls the next day, again of extreme short duration. In the evening I found another email asking me to give them an alternative mobile number as if they were so very pained and pissed at not being able to contact me. I decided to ignore that, somewhat resigned to fate now.

 

In the meantime the screen baseline kept on warning me about the impending deactivation if I failed to recharge. I decided to ignore, again. And the DTH connection was indeed deactivated the next day. Holy shit! I couldn’t believe that such a trade giant could be so concerned about earning or losing a meagre 200 bucks. I also had no information that the big giant is in any sort of a decapitating financial crisis. Okay, I decided, let them have my 200 bucks and get the richest among all giants existing. But, of course, I do retain my power of depriving them of one customer, permanently. And I do have my principles too, irrespective of the money involved. Yes, I am not going to recharge and will let the account die an unnatural death while looking for a new service provider of which there is no dearth. Well, I don’t mind for my loss. God has given me enough power still to help the desperately needy or the greedy with those small amounts, for a limited period, of course.

*

My friend ends the story there. What do you think of it? Personally speaking, I found it utterly unbelievable, considering such desperation from one of the top giants nearly implausible. What about the poor then who struggle for less than 200 bucks for a daily existence?

England White-Ball World Champions! And What of Pakistan and India?

After being crowned with the ODI World Champions title in 2019 England today has completed the global white-ball supremacy by defeating Pakistan by 5 wickets in the ICC Men's T20 World Cup Final in Melbourne. Pakistan has almost done an India just managing to post a meagre target of 138 and consuming 15 overs to score 100 runs after being put into bat by England like in the semi-final against India; but the target came to be even less than India's 169 thanks to Hardik Pandya. However, their famous pace bowlers gave England a hard time and but for the resurgent Shaheen Afridi's injury who was unable to fully bowl the last two overs of his quota the match could've gone down the wire at the death. 

Like India, Pakistan openers failed once again to build the momentum and other Pak batsmen stumbled along, scoring a pitiful 18 runs in the last four death overs. But again, unlike India, they attacked England batsmen from the first over putting up two slips and not at all asking their wicketkeeper to come up to the stumps as if, in India's case, Bhuvneshwar Kumar got converted into a spinner. Like in the semi-final against India the magic-spinner Adil Rashid of England cast a spell over the  Pak batsmen, taking vital wickets and not giving away too many runs. The supposed countries of the legendary spinners and masterclass-strokers of spin have failed miserably to do the needful in the respective matches. 

Thanks to the Pak diehards we at least had a worthwhile Final keeping us glued till the last moments. Both the semi-finals were more agonizing in terms being extremely one-sided rather than only disappointing the respective fans: in the first it was kind of a cricketing enigma as to why New Zealand were so intimidated, not able to play even their usual in all departments of the game; and in the second the Indian scoring strategy, the bowling tactics and changes and the overall defense system were eye-opening examples about how not to play cricket. 

The once-upon-a-time colonial masters of both countries, mercifully, were not much discriminatory in dealing with them: defeating one by 10 wickets and the other by 5 wickets; and not at all resorting to the famous divide-and-rule policy which, unfortunately, continues to dominate politics of both countries. 

Any solace for the two Asian cricket giants? Well, first of all they must realise the fact that none of them looked the Champion stuff from the beginning of the tournament: Pakistan were on the brink thanks to their incredible defeats to India and Zimbabwe and finally they l made it to the semi-final due to another cricketing enigma of the Champion-looking-stuff South Africa losing to the Netherlands, and in a historical perspective, Pakistan always seem to make it big at the sole expense of New Zealand; and riding on their freaky wins over Pakistan and Bangladesh India only needed to defeat the Netherlands and Zimbabwe which they did convincingly after being rendered clueless by the Protea pacers to notch up 8 points-- the only team in the tournament to do so. However, in Pakistan's favor we must say that they tried very hard, winning three successive do or die matches convincingly and then only doing the waiting for the miracles, sort of. 

Secondly and as a corollary to the first both countries must feel contented that one made it to the semi-final which was the best possible result for their 'playing' team and the other made it to the Final against all odds and fighting it out very well too. 

Last but not the least, both countries do have their special areas of country-specific solace: Pakistan performing excellent in the shortest format despite not being a part of the 'empowering' IPL; and India having the solace of being able to defeat Pakistan, however incredibly. The biggest fools are those cricket mandarins and those crazy fans who expected and prayed vociferously for a India-Pakistan Final: pure business considerations for the former and the sheer frolic of the usual but rare subcontinental rivalry for the latter. 

Populated Movies Revisited!

Many years back I wrote a piece titled 'Populated Movies' that was later included in my first book 'Laugh and Let Laugh' in 2017. In that piece I argued that since India is an overpopulated country with high unemployment rates the creative art forms do adjust to that reality by trying to generate maximum employment opportunities in their projects. For example the goons in a mainstream Hindi movie: whereas just one bullet through the head by one villain is enough to kill the hero or the protagonist, the chief antagonist or the main villain sends an army of goons armed with an assortment of weapons for the job. I argued that this is done with a view to generate more employment. But I was mistaken, and so I just want to admit this here. 

My argument got almost fatally shot after I watched all the three movies of the 'John Wick Franchise' (2014 onward). I failed to keep count, but hundreds of hapless goons got killed in each of the movies at the hands of the 'legendary' assassin cum killing machine John Wick (played by Keanu Reeves). The goons keep on appearing out of what the moviemakers imply as the underworld of citizen assassins and which in fact threatens to take over the whole world. Of course there are some other movies too: 'Red' (2010) in particular where a secret agency launches veritable armies to kill a few retired agents. But John Wick Franchise should still qualify for the world record in this, barring the war movies, of course. With the upcoming John Wick-Chapter 4 in early 2023 this should not be a problem at all.

Now, America or for that matter the whole of the developed West doesn't have population issues, although does have unemployment niggles from time to time, particularly in the aftermath of the pandemic. Therefore, my argument of 'employment generation optimization' falls flat here. And so, we'll have to focus our attention on the other usual factors like wholesome booming entertainment that applies worldwide, and with special reference to America, factors like spreading the gun ideology and its consequent aspirations. Just another argument only, mind you! 

And of Adopting a New Approach to Write Truncated Pieces!

That evening in end-July a Bangla family friend came to our house in Kolkata profusely sweating and drenched in it from head to foot. However he was carrying with him a packet of smoking hot beguni (Brinjal fritters) and Chops (Cutlet fritters). Before he could cool himself enough under the full-speed ceiling fan he commanded us to partake of the items before those cooled off! And yes, we had those gobbled up quick in extraordinary gourmet delight and also supported by hot steaming cups of tea! Well, in our traditional belief that ‘heat neutralizes heat’, particularly when the heat (like May) is oppressively humid (like monsoon)! This dictum is of the utmost importance now, because the supposedly wettest months of the South West Monsoon, June and July, have gone with absolutely no rains in South Bangla and Kolkata city. In fact, the month of July has proved to be the driest July in history in the Eastern and North Eastern regions of the country. And into August now, there’s hardly any sign of the monsoon in any mood to expedite its proceedings. The seemingly blackening sky along with false thunder eventually pierced though the merciless sun, countess times!

 

At a time when we’d have loved a few days of genuine rains and cooling weather we were instead forced to have a literal rain of hard cash thanks to the equally hot episode of one minister of the Bangla state government and a stalwart of the ruling regional party getting arrested along with his lady associate, supposedly. About half a billion of rupees have so far been recovered from the lady’s flats along with other properties in hiding and a few missing foreign cars. The veteran minister after being distanced and rebuffed by his own party started crying ‘conspiracy’ saying the money was not his and the lady clamoring out haplessly that she was not aware of the money being hidden in her flat. Well, her connections with ruling state party had been somewhat exposed by the media and therefore, it’s come as a huge setback for the party with its Chief Minister projecting her national ambitions since her landslide assembly election victory in 2021, making the strong ruling national party a poor second.

 

The people of Kolkata are like the people of Mumbai as far as the ‘spirit’ is concerned. While the Mumbaikars always show their indomitable spirit in terms of continuing the hard work and making more and more money come what may, the Kolkattansalways show their spirit in continuing to enjoy life in terms moderate living but high eating come what may. The mouthwatering array of chops, rolls, cutlets, samosas, fish fries, fish and meat curries and so on at cheapest-in-the-world prices anywhere, from the street side open joints to the limited posh restaurants notwithstanding, I think, the Bongs should start worrying now, because the Met office has reportedly made a forecast of less rain in August and in September too which means that Bengal’s main festival of Durga Puja, starting this time right from the start of October, is in some real danger of getting washed away. Therefore, they should give less attention to the ‘heat neutralizing heat’ experiment and should not let themselves be swayed too much by the huge corruption in the education sector, the arrested minister being the former education minister, and should focus on chanting some prayers in advance to God and Mother Nature so that Durga Puja does not come under any threat.

 

The local media is not giving enough attention either to Nature’s heat let loose on most parts of the state and in Kolkata or on the farmers staring at a Kharif crop season crisis; no wonder, the way they’ve been consumed up by the hard-cash thunder showers. They’d better started rolling back the focus fully on the ‘monsoon crisis’ so that the lip-smacking people turned their attention to some prayers as we just said so that their thakur dekha (Puja pandal hopping) did not get hampered too.

 

Finally, as to why this writer has suddenly decided to adopt this ‘truncated’ approach to combine several well-planned pieces into a single piece, enough be said that he’s no longer game for the miserable 10 or so hits to the pieces on a rich variety of subjects that he’s devoted a lot to time and energy upon to make those interesting. Often he’s accidentally or even deliberately made mistakes hoping for some discerning readers to point those out. But no! Pointless expectations! So yes! He’s not interested any more in dishing out free matter that nobody cares about, with apologies, of course, to the handful of genuine readers he still has. The writer thinks that it’s better to redirect his energy to writing more books, because even if nobody, again, reads the books, the books would always remain on record as his works. Besides, if the Indian cricket team can go on experimenting with international matches (stopping those only during the IPL for the sheer force of the money power) without bothering about winning or losing why not this humble writer! This writer does possess the power, even though it’s useless, to show his disdain for Indian cricket and stop writing anything about it in future which he’s already and actually started doing, to be honest!

Senior Citizens: Have Conversations of the Khatak Variety!

“Hello! Is this Mr. ----?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“Sir, I’m calling from the Khatak Life Insurance Company…!”

“Oh, welcome back! So, you’re giving me a job again, right?”

“Well Sir…it’ll be a part-time job…!”

“How much salary would you be giving me per month?”

“Well…err…Sir! First you’ll have to come to our branch to discuss it over!”

“Nah, my dear lady! I won’t come again to any branch of yours. Since you know everything about me please send me the appointment letter!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day!” (Cuts the line … Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello Sir! I’m -----, calling from Khatak Bank. Can I have a minute with you please?”

“About what?”

“We’re giving you a credit card with a lot of benefits, specially designed for you…!”

“So, nowadays you’ve started issuing credit cards to granddads too!”

“Pardon Sir?”

“What pardon? I know a bit about how you get our phone numbers. Now, once you get my number you have to be knowing a bit about my user profile too, no?”

“Your privacy and security are our most important concerns, Sir! ...”

“Whoa! Really? Then how come you don’t know I’ve crossed the age of 65 and am a pension-earning senior citizen?”

“Sorry Sir…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day!” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hi Sir! I’m calling from No-Khatak Bank! We have a pre-approved and lifetime free credit card ready for you!”

“Arre yaar! Why do you keep on harassing me? I’m 70, don’t you know that?” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello! Am I speaking to --- please?”

“Yes?”

“Sir, I’m calling from Khatak financial services! Is this the right time to talk with you?”

“Forget what’s right or wrong! Tell me what you’d like to talk to me about?”

“Sir, there’s a great offer for you! A pre-approved personal loan of up to a million bucks with discounted interest rates and easy EMIs…!”

“You know my age?”

“Pardon Sir?”

“Let me know how exactly I’m supposed to utilize your loan since I’m 75 and so I hardly have any plans or aspirations of purchasing or investing or anything of that sort!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, dear!” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello! I’m calling from Khatak heavenly travels and luxury resorts club! Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“What do I have to with you heavenly company, I’m heavily down on earth only and am sticking to that!”

“Oh Sir! This offer is irresistible! For a nominal annual membership fee it’ll offer you travel packages round the year in five-star resorts for 25 years, along with…!”  

“Hey my heavenly brother, wait! Why didn’t you check my age in advance? With a pension how do you expect me to afford your heavenly benefits? I’ve just crossed 80, you know!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, darling!” (Cuts the line...Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello Sir! I’m ---, from Khatak developers-builders!”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“Sir, we have a huge project coming up in ----- site. Are looking for investing in property? You can book a flat early to have the early-bird discounts!”

“Are you providing me the millions of bucks needed?”

“Pardon Sir?”

“At the age of 85 how on earth do you think I’d manage a huge home loan to buy your property?”

“Hmm…mmm…ugh…um…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, honey!” (Cuts the line...Khatak!)

 

(Note: The hordes of leeches have unfortunately multiplied manifold thanks largely to the long pandemic slump. They pester you on whatever phone you’re using on a daily basis, asking for your money; they litter you text inbox with countless messages containing promos/videos/ links, asking for your money; they infiltrate your WA space too, inviting you to spend your money on a daily basis; you visit your favorite internet sites and suddenly they start asking for your money too; and even the money-rich famous religious places start hankering after your donations with daily reminders. You cannot possibly blame many of them as they’re desperately trying to make a decent living, apart from the downright hackers/fakers/fraudsters/greedy-for-money entities. Most of the other firms/apps are doing a thriving business by providing their databases liberally to the so-called telemarketers. In our modern digital age you cannot prevent that. However, my point is that when the service providers sell their databases why they don’t emphasize on the age-factor of the users so that at least the senior citizens are not harassed every day!

But to make matters worse, the senior citizens, mostly who’ve recently retired, are on special radar of some of the predating vultures like the life insurance companies. Their target is to blood-suck you dry, squeeze the last penny out of the varying pension packages hard-earned by the victims and reduce them to beggars on the street. Now, pensioners heavily depend on their savings to eke out an independent living and the tension increasingly gets heightened if they happen to live for many years after retirement. Beware then, senior citizens! Do never fall prey to their offers; never click a suspicious link; never seriously consider their job offers as they only want to make you spend at every step, indefinitely; never hand over your personal details to any entity; never make personal posts on social media. Remember that poverty among the pensioners has been rising worryingly across the globe.)

A Tale of Two Credit Cards!

Such in-a-soup stories need to be told, because they mostly are about all those faceless people who normally have no voice. It doesn’t matter if the stories were my personal ones or somebody else’s. As you must be aware a writer or a storyteller has the choice of being the narrator in the first person or in the third person, and in post-modern storytelling even in the second person. Well, right? As you also must’ve been aware all the time that several essential services like banking were spared during the pandemic lockdowns, and as far as services at the bank branches are concerned the pandemic hit them real hard with thousands of their staff members getting the infection leading to manpower shortages which was really unfortunate. However, the pandemic had a definitive role in making online transactions a way of life, forcing even the traditionally manual-obsessed customers go for online activities. Therefore, when I discovered a bank failing even in that minimum of online presence I had to feel disgusted. This brings me to the first credit card.

 

I’d been having a credit card for years issued by that particular bank where I didn’t have an account. During the first national lockdown the bank literally went into a stupor: not informing about or updating the transactions; not generating online monthly statements and mailing those promptly; contacting them through the helpline was also a wasted exercise as no one really attended the calls. All these created a total blackout for me as regards my card. To make matters worse the bank, one of the worst and confirmed misers in the industry, kept on sending useless text promos like offering offensive cashbacks of 50 or maximum 100 bucks for a transaction of over 20k bucks and like offering to increase their consistently miserable credit limit by only a few thousand bucks.

 

One day I was caught up in such a severe fit of rage, also accentuated perhaps by the monotonous stay-home syndrome that I cut up the credit card in as many as possible pieces and threw those into the dustbin. After the act I mailed them a request to close my card account which compulsorily involved another clumsily manual process: that they don’t take closure requests online or on phone and I have to log in to their net banking site, type my request in their form, have to take a printout and send it by post to them as if I were a free bird during the lockdown. My previous experiences in their net banking were horrible: they never save my credentials and passwords; and so, every time I try to log in I have to rediscover myself and create new and newer user IDs and passwords. I gave it up.

 

To my horror a solitary statement appeared informing me that I had unpaid balances. Furious, I emailed them again, asking them why they didn’t close my account and how on earth was I to make the payment as I no longer had the full 16-digit card number with me. Like all other banks they wanted their money back at any cost, and therefore, one executive found time to send me an email asking me to make the payment using a temporary 16-digit number generated for the same purpose. I made the payment, reiterating my request to close my account as I couldn’t possibly use it without having either the card or its number.

 

For the next one year I forgot about the card, but at times feared that the bank might again charge me the annual fee. And then the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) new guidelines on credit cards that are to be effective from the 1^st of July this year came just in time, and one of which guidelines say that a bank has to close a credit card account that is not used for more than a year. Accordingly, a jubilant ‘me’ receives a text message from the bank giving me a notice period of one month to try renewing my card or the card would cease to exist after that! I give three cheers to the RBI! Credit card users must also know now that as per another guideline a bank can no longer insist on a manual application for a closure request and has to complete the closure after a telephonic or online request within seven days to avoid paying a daily penalty to the customer.

 

The second credit card is of an existential kind! A bank where I had to open a savings account for some reasons offered me a credit card, full of discounted offers and lifetime free. However, the offer from a polite lady executive of the bank came on telephone when I was stranded out of town for the first lockdown. Therefore, I also politely informed her that since I was in another town I wouldn’t possibly be able to receive the card at my registered address. To that, even more politely, the lady asked me for the new address and noted it down with painstaking care, doubly assuring me that the card would arrive at my new address.

 

A fortnight later, though, I got a message from the courier that they missed me at that registered address. The card was never delivered even after I came back to my registered address. However, the offers continued to flourish in my phone, mails and the bank’s net banking site. The bank was caught in their own web of half-truths when one of their executives phoned me offering me a personal loan on the credit card that never existed, and I grabbed the opportunity with my both hands and asked him a simple question, ‘Where is my card, my dear provider?’. He took it in with a remarkable restraint and assured me all the needful would be done.

 

Accordingly, a representative arrived at my home and the application process was done one more time. I got all the communication as regards the ETA, so to say! That card too never arrived, even after a full year. However, the card still exists in my net banking account and in terms of a plethora of insistently luring offers. So then, this is the story about the second credit card that I cannot use even virtually.

Age Is Just A Number: High Fives To My Young Fellow Seniors!

As the saying goes ‘age is just a number’, and in some cases it is high and in other cases low. The number doesn’t necessarily have something significant to do with the mind associated inevitably with it. If we go further from year to days the numbers become even more like simple numbers. Like when we say 10 years it seems to be a very long time—a decade as you’d normally like to refer to; but if we break it in number of days it’s just 3650 days or less. However, high numbers do signify body ageing which is biological and cannot be avoided, and unfortunately, ageing is taken by others with ‘low numbers’ in a negative way. The moment people cross the number 60 they are called ‘old guys’, and when someone dies in the range between 75 and above the others say that ‘the old guy has lived enough’. Lifestyle immoderation and inherited or accidentally acquired diseases do make the process of ageing faster and painful in some. But in any case, the mind can still play a vital role.

 

The mind cannot age unless you acquire diseases like the Alzheimer’s or dementia which fortunately can be prevented by the sheer energy of your mind, spirit and brain activity. The forces of the mind and enthusiastic attitudes can help you even while having terminal diseases. God forbid, if you keep on giving in to the negative thoughts and actions these send open invitations to all kinds of diseases. They should never think that once they have retired from their regular job, they have become old. Therefore, it is the strong mind with an equally strong willpower that converts age into just numbers. We keep on sleeping every day and wake up the next day with the same kind of thoughts or resolves or plans. Just how could your mind change or age overnight? Yes, it’s only the days or years that gets added to your ‘number’. If you want, you can keep your mind always numberless or ever young, and that’s what matters to all senior citizens, so called because they have higher ‘numbers’.

 

I have been privileged to be a member of a local club of senior citizens where most of them have numbers the range 65 to 70 with some of them approaching 75 or even 80. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find that for them age is exactly a number. They have young minds and an indomitable spirit. Most of them go for morning and evening walks, eventually joining each other at the club premises, unfailingly every single day. They chat cheerfully for about an hour in the evening, at times enjoying steaming cups of tea or coffee, and then go back to their families—some with sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren while others live with their spouses. They are digitally literate and always engage themselves in the social media and groups with gusto. They are very kind-hearted and organize charity too as needed. We cannot avoid the unfortunate fact that many of the people with higher numbers have to maintain large families with meagre pension and a nagging financial insecurity.  

 

Occasionally, they organize get-togethers on someone’s birthday or anniversary or state/national events or at times without any reason, just for the fun of it. And, I’ve seen the tremendous enthusiasm and hyperactivity in going about organizing such events, moving around on scooters or cars or bicycles or auto-rickshaws; this reminds me of the innocent fun we had as children when organizing similar events or unions, and also in various stages of our varying ‘numbers’. There is always absolute celebration at the events or parties where everyone is forced to present a song or something through the loud speaker. One of two of them are actually good professional singers. Yes, mind is necessarily young; you only need to keep it so. In effect, we are always children—the children of God! High fives to us! And cheers!

 

Naturally then, when we’re referred to as ‘old folks’ we righteously get angry as happened recently with me. A very good friend of many years took my consent one day for an assignment in a forthcoming international event and asked for my updated bio. As I never say no to either tea or work, I went ahead with the proceedings. Around 10 days elapsed with no information from him and I thought perhaps he could not get it approved from the highest authority. Then, suddenly a call came from his organization offering me a job that forms only a miniscule part of the assignment offered earlier. Sensing the inevitable I said an assertive no.

 

Late evening that day the old friend called me, and then I came to know of the ‘reasons’ for not approving my assignment. Maybe the assignment was pre-decided in favor of someone with low ‘numbers’ or the younger smarter generation, and the discussion about my candidature a mere formality. Two of my earlier friends/associates of the organization convinced their supreme boss that since I am in ‘old age’ and I live far off from that office it might not be advisable to give me the job. The reference of the ‘old age’ infuriated me while I dismissed the second reason as a decoy, totally irrelevant as regards the assignment, and showed my anger in public, but deciding to move on.

 

That ‘telephone syndrome’ in fact energized me. For some time in the past few weeks, I’ve been in a dilemma about continuing with my writing work as I thought perhaps I had no ‘reading’ readers. A few days back I took a painful decision to stop my writing. But those telephone calls, and of course, a few very kind comments in social media from experienced author-friends/associates, made me reverse my decision instantly. True to myself I have decided to go on working till the last days of life, not allowing the ever-present external factors to be deterrents. Yes, I’m sticking to my basic nature irrespective of the increasing numbers getting added to me. My mind is ever-young like my senior citizen friends and by the grace of God I still have a reliably mobile body. Cheers for that too!

Ukraine Crisis: World Rulers Are Still Driven By Primitive Instincts!

According to Sigmund Freud’s theory of ‘Id, Ego and Superego’ the Id trait of a personality was present in the first primitive humans, but not as a part of the brain; in fact, the Freudian tripartite components had nothing to do with the grey cells. The Id trait includes the basic survival, sexual and aggressive instincts/impulses, and it acts unconsciously. Over the centuries the primitive humans started living in communities and societies, and at that time the Ego trait became important as a conscious part of a personality able to distinguish between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ acts in terms of good or harm such acts could cause to the others. With more maturity the Superego trait had emerged as the ethical ‘conscience’ of human beings, always sending correcting messages to Ego whenever the Id trait overpowered it. Freud indicated that any imbalances in these three traits are bound to lead to personality disorders, like if the Id impulses totally dominate the personality that human being turns overtly aggressive, greedy and even into a criminal. The ideal condition, according him, is when Ego effectively mediates between Id and Superego.

 

It’s the ‘imbalances’ part that we are interested in. The inherent greed and aggression components contained in the Id drove human beings progressing from local lordship to regional lords/fiefdoms or small kings or bigger kings and to the emperors. This progression had been based essentially on human’s craze or greed for power manifested in plain greed for land, forests, water sources, livestock and even women of the conquered lands. There is no dearth of expansionist invaders from the times of Alexander the Great to the murderous invaders of the Turks, Muslims, Persians and others. Along this trail of history planet earth has seen thousands of bloody skirmishes, battles and wars, all of which were naturally driven by the overpowering Id component.

 

From Ego there developed monsters like egoist or egotists and super egoists who had demonstrated no ‘guilt’ complexes as explained by Freud in any immoral or inhuman eventuality. Feelings of supremacy also grew in some communities or races who considered theirs as the best, and therefore, wanted to dominate the lesser humans. The planet earth had witnessed devastating ‘supremacy nationalism’ of the Ottoman, the Austro-Hungarians, the Italians and the Germans which led to World War-1 and World War-2 during which millions of soldiers and civilians perished and which in a way led to the murderous Spanish Flu during the first world war that also took a toll in millions.

 

It was hoped that with the tremendous growth and progress of human civilization in terms of technology, scientific exploration, socio-economic, the intelligentsia and benevolent leaders in mostly the emerging of democracies, the world had learned enough lessons from the horrific world wars. But no, the ‘greed for power’ factor as basic imbalances in the personality theory continued unabated. The wars between the two clear superpowers only became secret or undercover that is to say, cold. One of the superpowers, USSR, dissolved itself in 1991 and the other superpower, the US with its western allies, became all powerful which was not at all welcome for the other ‘powers’ like Russian, China and others. Cold war ended, but ‘operations’ continued. Aggressive nationalism again grew for strategic alliances and presence, military bases or deployment of forces and military operations as was thought to be very necessary.  

 

The strength of having nuclear weapons seemed to increase the craze for power more. It was like some diseased persons looking greedily at the stocks of mouth-watering food or piles of money, but not able to devour or use them. The temptations remained permanently. The super imbalances in the Superego kept up the threats of a nuclear war anytime anywhere. The hapless but peace-loving global citizens continued to live in morbid fear, not knowing when and what their monstrously ‘imbalanced’ rulers would do next. Trade and business flourished in manufacturing a wide range of weaponry and the consequent export or import of those to like-minded allied countries or ‘friends’.

 

Apparently, the age-defining spread of higher education and digital literacy had no positive impact on the rulers who continued to suffer from the imbalances, totally neutralizing the Freudian Superego personality trait from generating some ‘conscience’ in them. They still greed for more and more power; want more arsenals of weaponry, preferably nuclear and want to damage that of others; they try to activate a fear psychosis among their subjects saying that their national security is threatened; they want to destroy any indication of a possible growth of patriotism or nationalism in some countries they don’t prefer; they eagerly wait for a demonstration of their supremacy, even not caring if it could involve use of nuclear weapons; and the supposedly benevolent rulers of the democracies or milder dictatorships land up with no choices depending on who happen to be their ‘friends’ or ‘allies’.

 

The COVID-19 Pandemic did indeed make the world a much more closely-knit entity with a common objective of its eradication. However, even before the pandemic officially ended the same old habits started anew. No hope then for humankind? Well, we don’t know. We, the global citizens, have changed ourselves for friendship and everlasting peace; but still, it’s the toughest ask to try change the mindset of our rulers. Hope, in some miraculous way, the Ukraine invasion gets stopped and all kinds of wars/battles/rivalries in future get stopped too, to save our little world.

(Images Source: simplypsychology.org )

Hollywood Vs Bollywood: Two Movies In Unabashed Glorification Of The Antihero!

It just happened that I watched two movies from Hollywood and Bollywood respectively, back-to-back, and was amazed to find both movies singing paeans in praise of the antiheros, depicting their deeds in an unabashedly graphic way and even justifying it by highlighting a few ‘humanitarian’ qualities in their characters. Both movies are nearly 3-hour long, and yet not having a dull moment; both are marked by their relative reliance on machismo, black comedy and violence. The first movie, ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ (2013) directed by renowned new-era Hollywood filmmaker Martin Scorsese, I happened to watch by chance as it was available on Amazon Prime Video and also due to the fact that I greatly enjoyed the director’s two films, ‘The Departed’ (2006) and ‘Shutter Island’ (2010) recently, those two movies being part of Scorsese’s successful collaboration with the ‘Titanic’ (1997) sensation Leonardo DiCaprio which yielded four critically acclaimed and commercially successful movies so far. ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ is also critically acclaimed with some reservations though and is the director’s highest grossing movie ever. The movie also has earned a unique distinction of creating a Guinness Book World Record for the maximum use of swear words.

 

Immediately after that ‘watch’ the details of which I’ll come to later I watched the new Hollywood (well, not exactly Hollywood as the original Telegu movie from Andhra Pradesh was also released in the Hindi dubbed version along with in other Southern languages) movie ‘Pushpa: The Rise’ that released in theaters on 17^th December 2021 and its digital rights are bought by Amazon Prime Video. Made with a huge budget of between Rs. 2 to 2.5 billion the antihero movie, replete with all the masala ingredients of a Hindi formula film, has already grossed nearly Rs. 3.5 billion across the globe. The movie is directed by Sukumar B who is a director-producer-writer of the Telegu film industry and his first film ‘Arya’ (2004) was a huge commercial success that made him a star filmmaker in Andhra Pradesh.

 

‘Pushpa:  The Rise’ is focused on the smuggling of a rare variety of wood, red sanders, that is found only in the Seshachalam Hills in Chittoor district of Andhra Pradesh, by a syndicate headed by a politician commanding an assortment of mafia lords spread over Southern India. The protagonist Pushpa Raj, the antihero, is played by the Telegu superstar Allu Arjun who carries the movie forward effortlessly and successfully in more or less as a one-man show. An ambitious daily laborer Pushpa, with his birth shrouded in illegitimacy, in his immaculate showmanship masculinity and a creative genius opts for the high-paying and high-risk smuggling of red sanders job, and starts to rise in stature and power. He finds an equally ambitious Bihari laborer Kesava (played by Jagadeesh Prathap Bandari) who is Pushpa’s devout admirer and the duo sticks on till the end of the movie with really enjoyable comic interludes.

 

In the process of his ‘rise’ Pushpa wins over a prominent mafia lord displaying his ‘genius’ in evolving unique cost-effective ‘smuggling of the wood’ methods which involve passing the police network sans bribing them too much and then on to the international destinations like Japan and China. His eternal quest for a higher price for the precious wood as the ultimate objective Pushpa comes into conflict with other mafia lords leading to inter-gang rivalries. This opens up a saga of bloody violence, murders, rampant corruption in the cops and moral decadence which finally culminates with the syndicate head declaring Pushpa Raj as the chief of all smuggling operations. With a sequel of the movie already slated for release by end of 2022 the story ends with Pushpa’s marriage and an unusual climax with the new police chief Bhanwar Singh Shekhawat (played by Fahadh Faasil, appearing only toward the end) which had better stay unrevealed.

 

And what are Pushpa’s ‘humane’ qualities? Well, his compassion for his the downtrodden; his devoted love for the dignity and position of his mother; and his chivalrous love and admiration for the part-time heroine Srivalli (played by Rashmika Mandanna) whom he rescues from the clutch of a sick womanizing son of a mafia lord. The entire storytelling is predictable and a run-of-the-mill approach all the way; but as we said earlier the film is a thorough entertainer with hardly a dull moment.

 

‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ tells the biographical story of a real-life personality, Jordan Belfort (played over the top by Leonardo DiCaprio), in a crime black comedy genre that Scorsese comes back to after the pure crime-gangster genre that yielded several significant films in collaboration with actor Robert De Niro since the early eighties. Jordan Belfort too is a very ambitious antihero who believes in making the quick bucks irrespective of any scruples involved in the process. His starts his career as a stockbroker in a New York in firm where he finds his Guru who preaches using the drug-sex syndrome combined with the ‘pump and dump’ policy for success in stockbroking, and fully imbibes the glorious principles of success. After several stints he finds a devout admirer-friend-neighbor of his, Donnie Azoff (played by famed comedian Jonah Hill, representing a real-life person named Danny Porush), and the duo creates their own brokerage firm ‘Stratton Oakmont’ bringing in several like-minded trainee brokers.

 

Inspired by the ‘pump and dump’ policy the firm initiates a saga of cheating thousands of potential investors of their millions, creating their own millions distributed in various international bank accounts, inducing or forcing relatives/acquaintances into helping them keep the money safe in the Swish accounts, orchestrating the drug-sex fueled maniacal motivational speeches by Jordan to keep his Heads and employees ever focused on the phone, and unleashing an endless graphic depiction of rampant drug abuse, foulest of words, machismo, objectifying women, unsparing nudity and explicit sexual orgies.

 

Without being an official part of the New York stock exchange, the saga of frauds goes on unabated with the narrative never preferring to take a look back at those cheated mercilessly and the sins of the protagonist who from the beginning boasts of his immense wealth and properties including prominently, his luxurious yachts. Although the movie tries to show the antihero’s supposed downfall with the investigating FBI and a court case indicting his frauds, the antihero manages a ‘deal’ that results in his imprisonment for effectively only 22 months, and the film ends with the glorious return of Jordan Belfort as a motivational speaker; what exactly he is ‘motivating’ the young people for is, however, not made clear.

 

Of course, the real-life Belfort went on making money by his role of a celebrated motivator after the imprisonment, earning millions by writing a book of memoir and then more millions by selling the book’s film rights. What then are the ‘humane’ values of Belfort apart from being a sex and drug addict? Well, he is compassionate to fellow human beings coming to him for help; he loves his wives at various points of their togetherness; he really expresses his gratitude to his friends; he has a strong sense of humor; and he is an exceptional orator.

 

Antihero movies are not at all in short supply either in Hollywood or Bollywood and most of these are commercial hits. Why the triumph of the evil and the ‘humanity’ of the villains never fail to appeal to the viewers or readers? Perhaps, because they find the antiheros capable of doing things that they dare not or never want to do even if they enjoy fantasizing about that. While in Hollywood the morally decadent antihero movies are unabashedly non-conformist to conservative values the Bollywood antihero movies do try very hard to give a Robin Hood image to them or to justify their emergence due to tragic unjust circumstantial backgrounds. The ever-potent appeal of the antiheros could very well be the reason for the craze of the young people for negative publicity, particularly in India.