Check! Check! Breakfast Testing!

It happened twice! In the span of only a week or a mere seven days! If I was bemused in the first instance which was only natural and had the inclination of dismissing it with a grunt, the second instance made me veritably confused! It put me in the ‘search’ mode—the search for possible answers to a query that is as mundane and foolish as it could be! Damn it! I’ve lived my entire life with it: right from the birth time and date; all the time while growing up; all the time while socializing, working or traveling. It’s always been considered an integral part of living—something very important and even sacred. I even discussed the issue with my wife and she opined that it must have had something to do with people’s perceptions while endorsing my lifelong perceptive or otherwise truth of living as well as hers.

So, what the hell does ‘breakfast’ mean? Such a question would make anyone angry and annoyed, obviously. But I still wanted the answers, realizing the conflict raging inside me which was so immensely capable of making me disoriented and lost. I searched up the internet for the meaning or possible applications of the word ‘breakfast’. The explanations confirmed more or less fully my understanding of the word: that it means a morning meal or the first meal of the day; that it means the same if we split up the word into ‘break’ and ‘fast’—‘breaking’ the ‘fast’ meaning normally we retire to bed having our supper and don’t get up in the middle of the night to meddle with the cold sausages in the fridge which means further that while sleeping we rather biologically launch ourselves into a night-long fast that is not eating or drinking anything unless in an emergency and thus get up in the morning to break our fast.

Foodies, dieticians and all of that ilk alike emphasize the importance of this first meal of the day, and how balanced and nutritious it must always be. A few generous souls of the net also explain further that people may take similar foods like that in their breakfast anytime in the afternoon or in the evening too. But they normally call it afternoon or evening snacks and would never call it breakfast. I think nobody would ever say “I have eaten my breakfast in the evening” unless, of course, extraneous circumstances forced him/her to remain empty-stomach throughout the day!

Okay! Perhaps I will have to give another concession or make an exception in a country like India where fasting is very common among the population, due to reasons of religiosity, spirituality, ritualistic customization or simply dieting. Therefore, in cases like these they may be on fast not only during the night-slumber, but also during the whole day, and ideally, they’d break their fast with a sumptuous meal in the evening/night. But even then, they’d not call it breakfast or morning meal; they’d call it the fast-breaking meal. Besides, like breakfast it can’t be the first meal of the day, because most of them continue to drink and take fasting items like fruits, salad and other non-rice and non-roti dishes cooked without oil and masala. I think we don’t need to state that some of the blissfully fasting souls end up eating more during the ‘fasting’ hours. In any case, as the experts confirm, if you take your first meal before sunrise you can call it early breakfast and if you take it after 10-11am you can call it a late breakfast, and that breakfast can never be later than ‘lunch’ under any circumstances.

However, those two instances I aforementioned belied and defied all such explanations, perceptions and convictions.  

In the first incident I received an invitation to an evening local event the schedule of which said ‘breakfast’ at the end of the program. I laughed over it and dearly wanted to say to the organizing secretary ‘I really enjoyed the menu of the breakfast!’ which I didn’t finally say lest it would hurt their feelings whatever those could be.

As I indicated earlier, the second incident was of a more serious nature. A septuagenarian neighbor visited us in that evening, just about five days after the first incident. He was telling us about how satisfying was the felicitation given to him for the release of his first book.

“The program started around 4 o’clock. There were lots of presentations, lectures including mine, musical interludes and prayers for his good health and the wellbeing of the whole neighborhood! It continued till about 6 o’clock. After that there were informal meetups, photo sessions, selfies and all that. Finally, we had our breakfast at 7 and left the venue shortly thereafter. It took us nearly three hours to reach home due to traffic…” he paused as I, confused, interjected.

“So, you stayed there overnight?”

“No, we left the same day as I just told you! We got home after 10 o’clock!”

“But the program was in the afternoon, no?”

“Yes, right!”

I gave it up looking helplessly at my wife. She gave me a reassuring look that seemed to say what she did say later. Perceptions, huh? And then my frantic search began! 

Professional of the Homely Variety!

He is of light medium build with specks of beard littering his round face and a balding head. He has a soft but monotonously lingering way of talking and is often not able or rather willing to concentrate on his work for more than say ten minutes; however, he, in his late fifties, doesn't offend his clients easily and manages to sail through on most occasions. Gunesh is a DTP operator with specialization in the vernacular languages which makes him stay in good demand. He works from his home that is dominated by his proactive better half. And this particular fact of his life does cause quite a bit of inconvenience to his clients. We have some information about a lady who's been suffering because of Gunesh's homely habits that include running off on a daily basis on various errands and desires of his wife even as clients who'd struggled hard to get the appoinments sit on in his homely chamber. 

By some quirk of fate the said lady who stays in a far-off city from Gunesh's got herself entangled in a project with him. And the project has just entered the seventh year without any tangible sign of completion. The lady plans her occasional visits to Gunesh's city and accordingly fixes up a few days work with him, begging him for the favor in a bid to complete the work; but everytime, invariably, Gunesh gets busy during those days and manages to keep the project pending still. 

The exasperated lady now decides that enough is enough. She plans one full week's visit and phones Gunesh in advance to sit with her continuously for a week to finish the work at any cost. As usual Gunesh shows no concern. He nonchalantly informs her that during that week the marriage of his immediate neighbor's daughter is to be solemnised and since traditional marriages in parts of Eastern India are elaborate affairs he will be extremely busy for at least five days. 

The infuriated lady mocks him, "What kind of professional you are? How could anyone afford to not work for five full days for a wedding in the neighborhood?"

"That's very rude, madam! You don't understand! We're very close! And even if I plan to work I can't, because the wedding pandal extends to my workplace!" Gunesh replies sullenly. 

"Why can't you understand that the project needs to be completed! I'm paying you regularly and yet...!"

"In that case take away whatever is in my computer and finish it with some other expert!" Gunesh plays his trump card, definitely not for the first time.

The lady gets worried knowing that finding another language operator is not going to be easy at all. On the other hand this trip of hers cannot be cancelled as she has already lined up few other urgent engagements too. There's no option but to coax him, she realises. 

"After seven long years it's cruel to suggest that. Okay! Help your neighbour and enjoy the ceremony. But please consider my plight too! Please give me at least three days after your five days so that we can complete it in my next visit!" 

"That's not possible at all, madam! It's not entirely because you just mocked and insulted my professional integrity but because after five days of compelling festivities I will be dead tired! I'd need at least two days' full rest! And one day's work is not gonna help you much! Right? So keep it for your next trip and I'll try my best to spare some time for you!"

Good Neighbors!

One of our neighbors has been maintaining their stray habits.

We all should love animals. And we do love them. But the profound question is should we love them at the cost of us human beings.

There are lots of problems caused by stray dogs and cats to residents, passersby and all including bites. Authorities always plan many things but fail always at the implementation level due to, of course, the animal lovers. And problems always remain.

Our neighbor is trying to take care of all stray animals of the locality by feeding them at the staircase landing space and inside the house. If you are unfortunate enough to pass by just at the time of their main door opening up it’s all cats and dogs raining out on you! At many times dogs regally lounge on the landing space just outside the door and if you are ascending or descending the stairs you have to cross within biting distance. Good neighbors that we are we never make scenes except asking the watchmen sometimes to scare away the strays.

The lady of the house if often seen talking intently to the strays and is hardly seen talking to human beings. Well, should animal lovers become mental cases? Animals themselves would not like this idea as it smacks of future unpredictable dangers!

The profound question thus remains.