Congress: The Most Unearthly Enigma On Earth As Prashant Kishor Fails Again!

In the digitalized modern world, every device has either to be updated regularly or discarded entirely for a new one to keep the user relevant to the times. If the old device continues to be used in total disregard to the warnings the user becomes useless and almost a nuisance to the society and the other users. In such a state-of-the-art setup the Indian National Congress (INC or simply the Congress) seems to be the only device…sorry…a national political party, that steadfastly refuses to be updated, showing an unearthly disdain to change in pace with the times. It has done nothing after losing promising young firebrand leaders like Jyotiraditya Scindia and others; it has done nothing after its 23 top leaders, famously forming the G-23, separated themselves from the party asking for reforms and structural changes; it has done nothing to change the leadership even after losing elections again and again since 2014; and it has done nothing even after the celebrated poll-strategist Prashant Kishor who had brought the Mamata Banerjee government back to power in West Bengal with an incredible majority last year came forward willingly to help the beleaguered monolith two times in two years.

 

Why is the oldest national political party of the largest democracy of the world so inimical to change? Well, it cannot possibly part with the Gandhi leadership, such is its devotion to the family. They, the staunch loyalists, say no other Congress leader can replace the Gandhis because they say further that only the Gandhis still possess a pan-India presence and recognition. They don’t seem to see that the Congress is gone in the North East; it’s gone to in the East too; it’s gone in the North except for somehow sticking on in Rajasthan, it’s gone in the Central region except for so far surviving in Chhattisgarh; it’s gone in the West but for being the smallest partner in the Maharashtra coalition government; and it’s gone in the South too. So, where is Gandhis’ India?

 

The Gandhi family cannot be blamed entirely for the sordid episodes of resisting change, because on several occasions Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi offered to resign and allow other senior leaders to take over the reins. However, the regressive loyalists refused to budge on each occasion, beseeching them like the slaves of the British to continue. They, at any cost, want to keep Rahul Gandhi as the Congress’s Prime Ministerial candidate as if for eternity. The G-23 was formed to bring in the much-required changes in leadership and in the overall structure. But the loyalists continued to advise Sonia Gandhi to thwart what they call the dissidents.

 

The opposition unity in the country has been suffering because of this change-resisting enigma of a party. The opposition parties, as we’ve mentioned many times in earlier pieces, fully understand that a real united opposition in India cannot be formed leaving out the oldest party of the country as the INC will contest anyway on its own all its traditional seats come what may and thus split the votes in favor of the ruling party. They neither can take the Congress in with them due to the risk of losing a huge chunk of the seats that happened in Bihar, be it in the assembly or the general elections. Most importantly, with the emergence of promising national leaders like Mamata Banerjee and Arvind Kejriwal, the obsession of Rahul Gandhi as the united opposition Prime Ministerial candidate has also become an obsolete enigma.

 

The IPAC wizard Prashant Kishor definitely understands these realities and therefore perhaps, he has kept on trying to guide the Congress to become an effective opposition partner with parties like the TMC, the AAP, the TRS and so on. He tried last year and failed. After the victory of Mamata’s TMC in 2021 where the Congress was avoided as an alliance partner Prashant Kishor gave the issue another more serious try. Several rounds of discussions between Sonia along with Congress stalwarts and Prashant Kishor had taken place in Delhi in the past few days. And it failed again with both the would-be collaborators parting ways on Tuesday, the 26^th of April 2022, amicably as reported.

 

Here again, obviously, the regressive changing-resisting loyalists have to be blamed squarely for this failure. They must have thought that if Prashant Kishor, the kind of poll revolutionary he is, becomes an independent consultant he’d surely ask for revolutionary changes in the party’s structure and leadership to which they cannot agree at any cost. Therefore, they must have advised Sonia Gandhi to offer Kishor to be a part of Congress by joining the Empowered Action Group to strategize jointly for the General Elections of 2024. And Prashant Kishor declined, true to his role as the most-wanted independent political strategist.

A line from a famous Hindi song in the melodious voice of Kishore Kumar from the critically acclaimed Rajesh Khanna-starrer movie Amar Prem (1972), directed by Shakti Samanta with music my Rahul Dev Burman and lyrics by Anand Bakshi, comes to the mind that says, ‘…majhi jo nao duboiye, usey kaun bachaye…’ (when the boatman sinks his boat who can save him?)!

North East: Ambit Of AFSPA Reduced In Three States, Final Triumph For Irom Sharmila!

In a historic move today the Indian Home Minister Amit Shah has announced a reduction in the ambit of the dreaded Armed Forces Special Powers Act-1958 (AFSPA) in three North Eastern states of Assam, Nagaland and Manipur. As per the details of the announcement the AFSPA has been removed in 23 districts of Assam, in 7 in Nagaland and in 6 districts of Manipur (under 20 police stations). The home minister said that this decision is made following a drastic improvement in the security situation of the insurgency-infested states and a palpable progress in moving toward peace and development. He claims the move as a credit for the devoted commitment of Prime Minister Narendra Modi. No doubt, the present Chief Minister of Assam Dr. Himanta Biswa Sarma, after defecting from the Congress, had led BJP (ruling Bharatiya Janata Party) to victory in Assam in 2016 and in 2021, and has contributed immensely in establishing dominance of the BJP in nearly all states of the region. So then, some credit is obviously due to the ruling party and a positive move like this is always welcome despite the others on the contrary.

 

The AFSPA has, for the last few decades, always been bitterly contested in the three North East states and in Jammu and Kashmir for its draconian provisions of allowing the army and paramilitary forces to search or arrest or detain any property or individual without any warrant and also the right to shoot anyone on justified or mistaken doubts while enjoying full immunity against prosecution. Massacres of civilians have been happening in all these states over the decades and the Act has been consistently opposed on human rights violations. The United Nations had also questioned the constitutional validity of the AFSPA in view of basic human rights.

 

The AFSPA comes into force whenever the Government of India decides to declare a certain area as ‘disturbed’ due to the failure of local administration to control law and order or to carry on the counter-insurgency operations effectively. Once the AFSPA becomes operative the local police lose their powers to prosecute anybody and have to ask for the approval of the central military forces to go ahead. The killing of 14 civilians in Nagaland in December last year by paramilitary forces had ignited strong opposition against the Act one more time. In 2016 the Supreme Court of India made filing FIRs compulsory for any extrajudicial killings irrespective of whether the victims were common persons or terrorists. The Court was giving this verdict after examining the petition filed by the families of the victims of extrajudicial killings in Manipur seeking justice for the alleged fake encounters of 1528 civilians since the enforcement of AFSPA.

 

History was created in the protests against the AFSPA in Manipur in November 2000 when a massacre of 10 civilians at Malom convinced a young lady of 28 of the state to undertake a fast unto death. The massacre happened on 2^nd November and the lady started her hunger strike on 5^th November, vowing to not eat, drink, comb her hair or even look into the mirror. Three days after her strike the police arrested her on the charge of trying to commit suicide and remanded her to judicial custody. And her hunger strike continued for nearly 16 long years during which she got repeatedly arrested and released briefly every year while she was nasally force-fed (nasogastric intubation) in jail to keep her alive in custody. The lady is Irom Chanu Sharmila, called the ‘Iron Lady of Manipur’ and Mengoubi (the fair one), who came to be known as the ‘world’s longest hunger striker’.

 

Irom Sharmila has been an icon of public resistance and a human rights activist, widely acclaimed nationally and internationally. She came into contact with all crusading national and international leaders and also a few Nobel laureates. As the AFSPA continued to be in force in all her years of fast Irom got increasingly disillusioned and finally ended her fast on 9^th August 2016 with the objective of entering politics to carry on the fight more effectively. Declining offers from several parties she formed her own political party and fought the Manipur assembly elections in 2017, but lost miserably that made her give up all hope for her own people and land.

 

She then married her longtime fiancé Desmond Coutinho, a Goa-born British national, and left Manipur to live in Tamil Nadu and then in Karnataka. Fortunately for her, although there had been much discontent and rage among her supporters after her decision the Supreme Court verdict contributed to some extent in reducing AFSPA excesses. Today, Irom Sharmila’s astounding sacrifices have got some rewards at last and we salute the Iron Lady of Manipur at this historic moment.

 

Assam Chief Minister today has addressed the media expressing his gratitude to his central leadership and welcoming the decision while saying that the presence of the central paramilitary forces in Assam has become insignificant now and is set toward near-full removal with only three districts remaining under AFSPA after the decision. Manipur Chief Minister N Biren Singh who just got his second term wholeheartedly welcomed the announcement and hoped that this would enable the state move fully in the path of peace and development. We also hope for the complete removal of the dreaded Act in all the states including Jammu and Kashmir in the near future while, at the same time, fully understanding the compulsions of the Government to carry on its counter-terrorism operations effectively.

Why Should Death Be A Good News?

Media-persons, including this writer, have the habit of prioritizing news stories/reports on the basis of how many people have died or are adversely affected, which is actually necessary to structure a news bulletin, always a tough job doing justice to the stories, selecting them and giving the prominence a story deserves. When a reporter comes in to the newsroom stating that an accident or any kind of such tragic happenings has occurred in which 2-4 people have died the news editor would just grimace it away and most often would ask it to be included in the scroll. If the fatalities are around 10 it normally gets into the bulletin as an important story, and when the toll is more than 15/20 then it becomes a headline news story. Well, this is unfortunate indeed; but in a hyperactive newsroom it becomes unavoidable. However, such stories are never taken as a good news story.

 

Deaths are always unfortunate whatever be the number, because for the person who succumbs in an accident or is killed it signals the end of the world for him/her. Yes, death is a very normal and inevitable part of human existence as we live with deaths all around us till our turns which always seem to be unreal and elusive. But dying unnecessary or avoidable deaths always hurt the most. If there is an outbreak of a disease or an endemic or a pandemic people die in varying numbers; but the question remains as to why at all should they die. Why such deaths are not preventable in the age of the most advanced modern medical science and amenities?

 

What has suddenly prompted me to write these words? Well, in a very well-known private news channel in India I had the misfortune to watch and hear the anchor reporting a few deaths as a ‘good news’! The anchor was narrating the Omicron-led COVID-19 pandemic spread story in Mumbai that more than 20,000 new cases were reported in the city in the last 24 hours which is the highest ever of all the three waves, and then said ‘but the good news is that there are only 4 deaths in the same period’. Sure, the anchor said this while making a comparison with the disastrous second wave. But, terming the fewer deaths as a ‘good news’ is extremely unfortunate. Recently, in the same channel, one sensitive doctor echoed my thoughts by saying that if the country is fully prepared to face the third wave why at all people should die, whatever be the number.  

 

Death can never be a cause for celebration even if one of your deadliest enemies dies suddenly. Some perverted and sadistic souls may rejoice within themselves, but it just can never be made official before the general public. During the pandemic years it has, most unfortunately, become a habit with the governments or authorities boasting of reducing the fatality figures and thus bringing the virus under control. I must emphasize again that even though only one person dies unnecessarily it is the end of the world for him/her and for his/her family.

 

Of course, it is also true that most ignorant or careless people do rush to their deaths by throwing all precautions and norms out of the window. Governments or authorities can only issue the rules and regulations, they cannot force all citizens to follow them. Finally, it is the duty of the citizens to take care of themselves and their kin, particularly the elderly people in their families. In India people of all religious faiths believe that their heavenly protectors would always protect them and, in that spirit, they throng to the temples or any places of worship in large numbers to offer their prayers and get the blessings, even if it amounts to blatant violations of the norms. All the true saints and preachers have said since times immemorial that Gods or your protectors live within you and all around you, and you can seek the blessings from the confines of your heart, it is not at all necessary to rush to the places of worship, stumbling, stampeding over each other. 

TRP Fixing Scam: BARC Suspends Ratings for News Channels for 3 Months!

 

The technical committee of BARC (Broadcast Audience Research Council) has today suspended TRP (Television Rating Point) ratings for all English, Hindi and Regional news channels of India for 12 weeks or three months during which weekly ratings for individual news channels will not be published while the weekly ratings by language and state would continue. The period of suspension, as reports say, would be fully utilized by BARC to completely review and re-haul its sets of rules for calculating the TRP numbers, and thus would try to make the statistics of the biggest television rating agency of the world credible and trustworthy. Up to this point the rules were based on the viewing patterns of a sample of 40 thousand households or 180,000 viewers across the country through installation of people’s meter device in their TV sets, to determine the standards and patterns of nearly 200 million television viewing households or around 836 million viewers in India. President of the News Broadcasters Association (NBA) has welcomed the decision as a step in the right direction.

 

This decision comes in the wake of the TRP-fixing by a few news channels, the Republic TV most prominently. A complaint to this effect had been filed recently by BARC with Mumbai Police through Hansa Research Group. It was alleged in the complaint that the said channels are bribing families in whose television sets meters have been installed for collecting viewership data to tune in to the particular channels continuously. Accordingly, the Mumbai police commissioner held a press briefing in Mumbai to announces the start of investigations to probe the channels allegedly trying to manipulate TRP data to garner more advertisement revenues.

 

This development was also preceded by a few stormy months during which a few news channels had started media trials to convert the apparent suicide of a rising film star, Sushant Singh Rajput, into a murder conspiracy and accordingly, ‘investigative’ campaigns to howl for the blood the ‘accused’ along with slander campaigns to malign a number of cinema celebrities allegedly associated in the ‘murder’ angle and drug-abuse charges. The government of Maharashtra and Mumbai police were also vilified in the campaigns. Three premier investigative agencies were put into the scene to file charge-sheets and jail the ‘accused’, primarily named in the media trials, all for apparent political gains. At the moment, their investigations have almost petered out, none of them being able to justify the murder angle. In the month of October 2020 all the leading producers of the Hindi film industry, Bollywood, had filed a petition in Delhi High Court complaining against the media trials and slander campaigns by two prominent national news channels, the Republic and Times Now. In the meantime, to-watch-or-not-to-watch news channels has become an existential crisis for the common people of the country.  

 

In fact, since the coming to power of the Hindu nationalist NDA government in India in 2014 and its aggressive push for a Hindu nation, the news channels and the Indian media had been increasingly getting polarized along ideological lines, with some pushing for agenda-oriented and brazenly communal campaigns while the others struggling with their neutral-journalism stands. Fake news and manipulations in the social media have also been the disturbing developments during the same period.

 

Under the liberal push of the Dr. Manmohan Singh Government in 1991 private international television broadcasting players were allowed to take part in the Indian broadcasting scenario which hitherto had been dominated by the national broadcaster, Doordarshan. So then, satellite cable entertainment channels had started coming in from the early nineties and news channels had started proliferating since the mid-nineties. Cut-throat competition thus began with the proliferating channels fighting for their respective chunks of viewership. Audience research had thus become an issue of paramount importance.

 

TAM or Television Audience Measurement, a private concern to measure TV viewership in India, started operations since the mid-nineties, and was soon joined by INTAM or Indian National Television Audience Measurement by ORG-MARG. The ride of the TRP competition and measurement had always been a roughshod journey with most of the channels contesting the statistical figures making their own claims and some of them launching bitter legal battles against the agencies. In view of this, the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting, Government of India, started deliberations to build a more credible and complete rating agency in 2008, trying to involve all the stakeholders in the business. After various reports by various committees and recommendations by TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India) the concept of BARC was formalized in 2010 as a joint industry body founded by the stakeholders: the broadcasters, the advertisers and the advertising & media agencies, and it started its operations from 2013-14. In a landmark move in 2015, TAM and INTAM got merged with BARC. However, the recent developments and various charges/allegations in the preceding years have again proved that a complete and trustworthy rating agency is still a distant dream.

 

While audience research and rating for the competing broadcasting groups cannot be dome away with, the TRP analysis for the news channels can definitely be abolished altogether, leaving the news channels to concentrate on good and unbiased content to win the respective viewership. This would also liberate the sober news channels from unnecessary cut-throat wars or controversial statistics or rigging over the TRP. Further, news is very close to the physical reality, informing the viewers about the developments in all fields of activity, and any tampering with the news content, making it biased or fake or just unreliable would be an absolute disservice to the citizens. Therefore, we also join the many voices that are already in the ups, for a total stop of the TRP system for the news channels. Suspension is most welcome, but it has to be the forebearer of more drastic action.

Newsroom Humor: The Visual Nut!

The news editor was in a very disturbed state of mind that evening. He was new to the newsroom of the television channel, its surroundings, and that made it all the more irritating. It was in the most biting phase of the winter and his newsroom pals seemed to be more interested in sitting cosily closer to their burning warm electric heaters chattily chewing betel nuts than anything else. There was the onset of a threatening lethargy that the hapless news editor tried to resist with all his might. He had to ensure that the most important story of that day got included in the bulletins.

The story was written and ready, but somehow the visuals were eluding everyone. Again and again, the tape was inserted in the video editing machines and checked. No visuals emerged on the monitors. What happened? Furious, the news editor wanted to know. The camera unit was there for the coverage and stayed there full length of the event. Then?

The editor called the concerned executive for explanations. The fellow came in with a benign smile busy chewing a mouthful of betel nut and paan. As the editor started questioning the smile transformed into a grin and his chewing hardly stopped.

“Why there are no visuals?”

“Well, Sir, you see…we tried and tried. But no visuals…!”

“But how could it happen? The cameraman was there all the time with his camera.”

“Sir you see…he is the only cameraman here…lots of pressure…for everything he is the only…”

“But he was there with the camera. The visuals had to be there.”

“…He is also lonely here…no family…no good food…many many problems…!”

“But what happened to the visuals?”

“Sir, I asked the poor guy…he forgot to press the record button sir…he is so hard pressed…!”

“O’ my God! He did not need to press it so hard I suppose! How much strength does the poor starving guy require for that exercise?”

The executive broke into a broad grin and started chewing vigorously. The editor looked into the barren ceiling above fearing a rain of betel nuts falling on him and submerging him…

Newsroom Humor: In Search Of The Dollar!

Even as the busy professionals of the local news channel get about making feature/interview stories on the nosediving Indian rupee against the US dollar in their inner minds they get perturbed too. They get the bytes of experts disturbing them further that the freefall is likely to continue for months and it would cross even the 80 rupees per dollar mark. Their meager salaries too threaten to mire them in the devaluation sludge.

Schemes for the poor like the Food Security Bill that promises to make staple grains available at 1-2-3 rupees per kilo bring out the contrast of the devaluation. They wonder aloud as the amused editor takes note:

“My goodness! See what just a single dollar can buy now in India! 68 kilos of coarse grains, 34 kilos of wheat and nearly 23 kilos of rice (at current rupee-dollar rate)!”

“Right! I have one solution. Pay salaries to all of us Indians in terms of dollars! Then you won’t need to implement any pro-poor schemes or programs ever.”

Of course, they laugh away the incredibility of the whole thing. Some other brainy buddies suggest other options as the amused editor looks on:

“High time we leave India!”

“Where? America? You are hardly welcome there nowadays, pal!”

“Well, we can still choose other countries where they pay you in dollars. And we must settle there. See, you go to study there your costs increase now by nearly 30 percent.”

“Okay…let us discuss this with our elders and parents. Maybe something acceptable emerges out!”

Of course, they grin away the impracticality of the whole thing. However, they get some news immediately that only corroborates their mutual consternation. A 68-year-old lonely Indian settled in the USA wants to get married and gives out matrimonial ads hoping to find a few applications from maybe 45+ or 50+ Indian ladies. But whoa! He gets more than 150 applications and counting that include even young girls in their twenties.

In view of the dollar-psychosis threatening to go viral it would be in America’s national interests to do something positive from their side too to boost the value of the hapless rupee or else face the biggest exodus of the Indian kind of the millennium!   

Humor: The Colors Of News!

The editor was at his wits end trying rather too hard to optimize his limited resources for an assignment that was as sudden as was demanding. He had to arrange several guests for a prestigious live newscast in the main circuit of the channel on a short notice. The guests were all big shots including top retired executives and professionals. As he proceeded on his assignment he began to learn to his dismay that super egos never cease to exist and become even more powerful after retirement or with age.

Two of the required panelists were the most nerve racking experiences he ever had. They lived very near to the studio of the channel and the editor expected they would just come down. When it was time for the arrival of the first guest the guy in the central office called telling him frantically that the eminent guest was waiting for office transport. The editor was completely taken aback because the guest did not tell him about the requirement and he could not arrange a car immediately now. So the called up the guest:

“Sir, sorry I was not aware you needed a transport. Sir…!”

“…How do you mean? Every other channel does that…I am not supposed to move on my own! This atrociously poor planning on your part!”

“…Sir, please understand I’m helpless at this moment. Sir, we offer a good honorarium that also includes a good conveyance amount for eminent guests. Please consider…!”

“You offer me money! Am I employed by your channel…am I on your duty? I’m not coming! ”

“No…no…Sir! Only for this time please consider!”

“…Okay! Who are the other guests participating?”

“Sir…Mr. X, Mr. Y and …!”

“Enough! I’m not coming!” he cut the line.

He did come down finally, refused the cup of coffee offered, but signed the honorarium contract.

While the first guest was finally inside the studio the editor got a call asking him to arrange another guest immediately. This time, he asked the guest after having him confirmed for the show if he required transport since he too lived almost adjacent to the studio. The second guest to the editor’s utter disbelief said yes—he needed office transport. He tried everything possible on earth to arrange a car, but failed due to the extremely short notice.  So he called up the guest:

“Sir…I’m very sorry...you know our constraints through your long association with us. At this moment I’m helpless…Sir, please consider!”

“I do know your constraints…but it’s your duty always. I’m not coming! No other channel asks me to venture out on my own!”

“Sir, we offer a good honorarium that also includes a good conveyance amount for eminent guests. Please consider…!”

“I don’t want your bloody money! I’m not a beggar!”

“Sir…please! Honorariums are offered to eminent figures like you out of our deep appreciation and respect, and not to beggars…in fact alms are offered…!”

“This is most atrociously poor planning on your part! I’d look if my driver is available…don’t expect me to drive down on my own!”

He did come down finally. He turned away the coffee offered saying it was cold. After the discussion the editor ordered hot steaming coffee for him. Finally the second guest left smiling saying that his motive for coming to such shows was never money, but a social service. However, he did sign the honorarium contract.

Luckily it was the festival of colors or Holi Festival the next day, and therefore he could immerse his anger and frustrations into layers and layers of myriad colors! Happy Holi!

Newsroom Humor: Shedding Your Load!

One of the richest states of India, Maharashtra, has been reeling under unprecedented power cuts for over a year now (events relate to the summer of 2007 when power shortage was most severe). The supply of power was not sufficient. There had been a shortage of about 4000 megawatts. The average cuts are for 4/6 hours a day. The worst affected areas suffer load shedding to the extent of 16/18 hours daily. The ruling party was at its wits end and the opposition was at its attacking best.

But there had also been a sweating dilemma. While the whole of Maharashtra was subjected to load shedding Mumbai had been spared so far. Top ministers were stoutly defending that Mumbai just could not afford it. Mumbai is the pride capital of the state and is also called the financial capital of India. The city municipal corporation here has an annual budget that beats the combined budgets of many states of India. Apart from trade and industry highs Mumbai keeps on making national or international headlines for many other reasons—be it acts of terror, strikes and even rains. 

The opposition parties realized this very well. But morally they had to cry sore. They said that Mumbai should at least feel the discomfort of load shedding—be it for few minutes only. They pointed out the wastage of power in Mumbai super malls and multiplexes—the daily power consumption of a mall could feed six thousand rural families. But they know too well that money generation could not be stopped at any cost.

 

The dilemma was leading to some novel protest marches and demonstrations all over the state apart from irate perspiring crowds ransacking state electricity offices.  Students demonstrated organizing mock classrooms powered by kerosene lamps in front of offices. With summer temperatures soaring to over 40 degrees the heat of the problem was rising unbearably.

 

So then, fed up with load shedding, members of an opposition party decided to shed their clothing too. They sat in protest rally in Mumbai clad only in their under garments. And in large numbers too. Sweating bare chests and backs highlighted the dangers of ‘shedding’.

The editor of a TV channel decided that this was real hard news when he received the coverage tape with bytes of the main opposition leaders. The ladies of the news room sighed a collective ‘..Ooooh’s. They found the visuals very offensive and refused to write the language translation for ‘under garments’ in the news story. The editor insisted, ‘Come on! This is news—this is reality!’ Finally, the ladies relented with the condition that ‘under garments’ be replaced by ‘unique way of protest’. 

The news went on air, but the super (name superimposed on screen) of the main leader’s name while he was shown speaking to the channel was missing! The editor shouted, justifiably so! One male reporter defended the omission with a mischievous smile, ‘You see, Sir, he is a respected leader. He should not be identified this way. It’s only out of respect, Sir!’

Well, load shedding might have forced people to shed their cloths, but not their esteemed sense of respect and decency. Ahoy!

                      (Article first published as News Dress in 2007 at Ezinearticles.com) 

Newsroom Humor: Hapus Mangoes in America!

Hapus and alphonso mangoes are grown mostly in the Rantagiri district of Maharashtra, a state of India. They are called the kings of mangoes. The taste is pure, deliciously sweet and fibrous yet very soft. The look is green-brownish-pinkish. The shape is a delight to the beholder and the size fits the palm.

The mango season begins in around April in this western state of India when the price remains very high—about $10-$15 a dozen. In June-July it falls to tolerable levels. Mango festivals are organized in Mumbai around this season where growers from different regions of the state open their stalls of the priciest mangoes and sell at wholesale rates. Folks throng such festivals and try for a good bargain. Here pricing rates per dozen are not so much adhered to. The customers look for a peti, that is, a straw padded wooden case of rows of mangoes sealed tightly that can be bought at bulk rates.

The newsroom of a local TV channel got the news that hapusmangoes are being exported to America after a long break of 18 years. That was big news. It occupied the headline slots for whole of that day. It was newsworthy and also sentimental as it evoked a sense of pride among the local newspersons employed there.

Two days later there was a shortage of hard news and it was becoming very difficult to manage the mandatory three headlines for a bulletin ten minutes and above. The chief reporter discovered something and rushed to the editor gushing out, “Sir, hapus mangoes in America! We’ve got our headline!”

“That was two days ago. We made full use of it. No way!”

“No Sir! The mangoes have reached America!”

“Are you crazy? You mean to say we make another headline that the mangoes have reached America now; and then we go on making headlines how many Americans have devoured how many mangoes on a daily basis! Don’t get too patriotic, man! Now, get rid of that mangola mania and hunt for some hard news!”

         (This article was written in 2007 and published at Ezinearticles. Since the topic is relevant any time we have decided to publish it again here. We plan to republish several other Humor articles later here. Enjoy! )