Getting Fretting Seething Fed Up!

It has become, particularly after the pandemic-driven desperation, extremely unsavory, unhealthy and irritating to avail of or buy any service or product from any service provider or business unit, ranging from an innocuous cup of tea to medical services, because once you do so which you cannot possibly avoid the marketing hawks of the concerned agencies will keep on bombarding you with text messages, WA posts, emails and also voice interactive or even live voice calls with no deadline for a most desired end, perhaps it's set to continue till the end of you or of the world! They holler and hammer you to rate them, recommend them, fill up feedback forms, take surveys and what not, and of course to continue buying from them. This is aside from the hawks of the bank/insurance/financial agencies who stop at nothing to lure you in, offering cards and personal loans even to hapless senior citizens, and the infuriatingly incessant reminders to pay up regular dues from about a month before the due dates, even though you've been extremely sincere in paying up on time everytime! Add to it the storm of the fraudsters who egg you on endlessly to click their dangerously spurious links. 

Particularly irksome are the brazen advertizing from the health service providers and medicine providers. Their messages on your personal accounts do not at all seek to hide their open invitation to you to fall sick asap, preferably seriously enough, and that it's evident that it's them only who would be deliriously happy if you oblige them! Well, on my part I immediately block their accounts or numbers, but the clever foxes change their accounts or numbers instantly and never even indulge themselves in commercial breaks! 

I've written about such issues quite a few times earlier too. What else to do? This perhaps gives me some vicariously avenging delight. If this is going to be the order of the digital age I'd have nothing of that! But how? I see no option of any kind. 

Can you think of any? 

The System!

The calls never stop. They’re ruthlessly regular as always even if you’re going through a huge personal crisis or that you’ve been rendered ineligible for most of the offers in circulation due to various reasons. And I don’t blame the ‘casuals’ desperately trying to augment their measly income with the commissions cum incentives that they hope to earn by getting the customer’s consent for a personal loan or a deposit/investment scheme or a pre-approved credit card. In fact, I always have sympathy and understanding for them; that I get angry most of the times is a part and parcel of the hazardous virtual games being played in abundance nowadays. This time, for a change, it was a male voice that addressed me in all possible politeness. But he sounded weary and lazy, perhaps frustrated by the endless calls from his end since morning without any tangible progress.

“Sir, I’m calling from the xyz finance company. If you can spare a moment, please!”

For a change, again, I decided not to be angry this time, enjoying the fact that as the caller was a male, I could very well blurt out my anger the moment it’s required. So, I answered politely too.

“Okay, yeah?”

“Sir, our company is offering you a pre-approved super credit card without any charges or fees of any kind! If you allow me…”

“Do you know my age?”

“Um…uh…I don’t know sir!”

“How did you pick me out then for your most special offer?”

“Well sir! You name has been running in the system…so…”

“The system? Yeah, that’s the crux of the problem. Anyway, have you meanwhile changed your marketing strategy by deciding to start issuing the credit cards to senior citizens too?”

“Um…no! I’m very sorry sir!” and he hung up, for a change, once again. Normally I do that reprehensible job in what I always think righteous anger, at times right in the middle of the conversation.

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The System! Yes! The ever-growing mechanism of modern marketing that never spares any nook and corner in any possible territory of the targets from its ravenous attention. As I mentioned several times earlier the System has been drawing its sustenance from the ‘generous’ service providers who possess our database and make those available to all the marketing hawks. But why don’t they provide the crucial factors too, like say age? Well, perhaps, they’ve grown a little apprehensive thanks to the increasing public cries for privacy and data protection. Or maybe they don’t care, taking into consideration the possibility of catching even the old and near-dead fishes in the expansive nets of their ‘other’ customers.

 

However, it’d indeed be a good practice for the generous database holders to at times clean and weed out the old fish, thus eliminating the senior citizens, mercifully. This would also help the hapless endlessly ‘calling-casuals’ focus on the real targets and not waste their companies’ precious time trying to catch the ageing, useless and the ineligible preys. In such heartlessly competitive times, the predators must prepare themselves fighting-fit too as their prospective preys have also been becoming alert, conscious and smart in the meantime. Not to speak of the destructively creative and marauding online fraudsters who too have been drawing largely on the benefits of the doubts emerging from the generous goings-on!

Logorrhea Or Quietude of the Hams As It Suits Them?

We’d been growing up with the dictum that ‘everything is fair in love and war’; however, in view of our increasingly awesome experience with the phenomenon of digital marketing we urgently need to revise the dictum to ‘everything is fair in love, war and marketing’, for our own solace. I’m not at all exaggerating this. In spite of being very particular about paying all your dues on time all your life and enjoying a healthy credit score as a result your service providers shall not cease to hound you all the time for payment. They’d start at least a week before the approaching payment-due date and their irksome and utterly useless verbosity will flood all your resources of a digital existence. This ‘logorrhea’ of the post-modern times has become a disease like the good old ‘diarrhea’! The disorder cannot be corrected even if you resort to a digital bank transfer system with specific instructions for the payment on the due date. At most of the times the all-encompassing reminders would keep on coming even after making a successful payment. Besides, there’d be the age-defined telemarketing calls even if you’ve been consistently telling (you cannot afford to be too curt or insulting as the callers are mostly ladies) them all the time that ‘I don’t want a personal loan’ or ‘I don’t want a credit card’ or ‘I don’t want an insurance job or a policy’! You finally feel that it’s absolutely sinful to be a good customer enjoying a good credit score. But alas! You just cannot become a defaulter even if you want it desperately enough to have a peaceful and noise-free daily existence.

Then there’s a peculiar phase of an unnatural quietude that seems to blight all of the service providers after they get their payments and this phase never fails to make you restive and edgy. You’d very naturally check the concerned app or account for the confirmation of your payment, of course, after the mandatory wait period. Unfortunately, you’ll not find it for days, and there’ll still be the reminders ‘Pay’ or ‘Recharge’ flashing on your screens which will, naturally again, make you disturbed, and after a series of rigorous navigational efforts from your side may finally take you to the service provider’s rather unwilling admission ‘Oh! It seems you’ve made a payment!’, if you’re lucky. The consequences of ‘making a payment’ in a way which outside of the service provider’s app or recommendations could be even more dangerous and the prolonged quietude that follows would surely make you extremely disturbed.

 

Recently, I made an arrangement with my bank to pay the bills to a particular credit card before the due date which meant I deviated from the method of repayment normally made from the credit card online account itself. The payment was successful as my bank indicated with the debit amount shown correctly. However, the credit card issuer bank never acknowledged it in any manner and kept mum as the due date was approaching ominously. I logged in to the credit card online account to check, and there was no confirmation there either; instead, the reminder ‘payment due’ standing there still. Another fearful thought caught hold of me: if somehow, the payment did not reach the card they’d inevitably charge a hefty late payment amount in my next bill! Therefore, I decided to pay the same amount a second time and paid it from the card account. That payment was immediately acknowledged. I checked the account two days after the due date. And lo! I found the earlier payment recorded in the ‘transactions’ column with the same date that my bank transferred the amount on. Such was the silence of the ham! But how’d they gain with such obnoxious quietude? Why! For that card I’d enjoyed a nice ‘no payment required’ period which I deliberately prolonged; in this case, for them! With my quietude!

Senior Citizens: Have Conversations of the Khatak Variety!

“Hello! Is this Mr. ----?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“Sir, I’m calling from the Khatak Life Insurance Company…!”

“Oh, welcome back! So, you’re giving me a job again, right?”

“Well Sir…it’ll be a part-time job…!”

“How much salary would you be giving me per month?”

“Well…err…Sir! First you’ll have to come to our branch to discuss it over!”

“Nah, my dear lady! I won’t come again to any branch of yours. Since you know everything about me please send me the appointment letter!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day!” (Cuts the line … Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello Sir! I’m -----, calling from Khatak Bank. Can I have a minute with you please?”

“About what?”

“We’re giving you a credit card with a lot of benefits, specially designed for you…!”

“So, nowadays you’ve started issuing credit cards to granddads too!”

“Pardon Sir?”

“What pardon? I know a bit about how you get our phone numbers. Now, once you get my number you have to be knowing a bit about my user profile too, no?”

“Your privacy and security are our most important concerns, Sir! ...”

“Whoa! Really? Then how come you don’t know I’ve crossed the age of 65 and am a pension-earning senior citizen?”

“Sorry Sir…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day!” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hi Sir! I’m calling from No-Khatak Bank! We have a pre-approved and lifetime free credit card ready for you!”

“Arre yaar! Why do you keep on harassing me? I’m 70, don’t you know that?” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello! Am I speaking to --- please?”

“Yes?”

“Sir, I’m calling from Khatak financial services! Is this the right time to talk with you?”

“Forget what’s right or wrong! Tell me what you’d like to talk to me about?”

“Sir, there’s a great offer for you! A pre-approved personal loan of up to a million bucks with discounted interest rates and easy EMIs…!”

“You know my age?”

“Pardon Sir?”

“Let me know how exactly I’m supposed to utilize your loan since I’m 75 and so I hardly have any plans or aspirations of purchasing or investing or anything of that sort!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, dear!” (Cuts the line…Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello! I’m calling from Khatak heavenly travels and luxury resorts club! Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“What do I have to with you heavenly company, I’m heavily down on earth only and am sticking to that!”

“Oh Sir! This offer is irresistible! For a nominal annual membership fee it’ll offer you travel packages round the year in five-star resorts for 25 years, along with…!”  

“Hey my heavenly brother, wait! Why didn’t you check my age in advance? With a pension how do you expect me to afford your heavenly benefits? I’ve just crossed 80, you know!”

“Hmm…mmm…um…ugh…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, darling!” (Cuts the line...Khatak!)

 

*

 

“Hello Sir! I’m ---, from Khatak developers-builders!”

“Yes, how can I help you?”

“Sir, we have a huge project coming up in ----- site. Are looking for investing in property? You can book a flat early to have the early-bird discounts!”

“Are you providing me the millions of bucks needed?”

“Pardon Sir?”

“At the age of 85 how on earth do you think I’d manage a huge home loan to buy your property?”

“Hmm…mmm…ugh…um…ooh…!”

“Enjoy your day, honey!” (Cuts the line...Khatak!)

 

(Note: The hordes of leeches have unfortunately multiplied manifold thanks largely to the long pandemic slump. They pester you on whatever phone you’re using on a daily basis, asking for your money; they litter you text inbox with countless messages containing promos/videos/ links, asking for your money; they infiltrate your WA space too, inviting you to spend your money on a daily basis; you visit your favorite internet sites and suddenly they start asking for your money too; and even the money-rich famous religious places start hankering after your donations with daily reminders. You cannot possibly blame many of them as they’re desperately trying to make a decent living, apart from the downright hackers/fakers/fraudsters/greedy-for-money entities. Most of the other firms/apps are doing a thriving business by providing their databases liberally to the so-called telemarketers. In our modern digital age you cannot prevent that. However, my point is that when the service providers sell their databases why they don’t emphasize on the age-factor of the users so that at least the senior citizens are not harassed every day!

But to make matters worse, the senior citizens, mostly who’ve recently retired, are on special radar of some of the predating vultures like the life insurance companies. Their target is to blood-suck you dry, squeeze the last penny out of the varying pension packages hard-earned by the victims and reduce them to beggars on the street. Now, pensioners heavily depend on their savings to eke out an independent living and the tension increasingly gets heightened if they happen to live for many years after retirement. Beware then, senior citizens! Do never fall prey to their offers; never click a suspicious link; never seriously consider their job offers as they only want to make you spend at every step, indefinitely; never hand over your personal details to any entity; never make personal posts on social media. Remember that poverty among the pensioners has been rising worryingly across the globe.)

The Horribly Logged-In Kotak Experience Of My Life!

The calls started coming since more than year before my superannuation offering me part-time employment with a monthly salary. I was, naturally, elated getting job offers even before my retirement. The executives always told me I’d have to attend office only 3-4 days a week for only 4-5 hours a day in a managerial capacity, and my job would be to manage a team of young guys. It sounded good, but I told them that with my present employment I cannot have another job or income and so they’ll have to contact me after my retirement. As the month of superannuation neared the calls multiplied including calls from different other companies. I was a little surprised that most of the times the calls were from private life insurance companies—the Kotak Life Insurance (KLI) being the most consistent one. This fact put me a bit off, because I’d been having some kind of loathing all my life for life insurance companies from which you stand to benefit only after you die. However, that was not the case as was revealed to me later.

 

Within a month of retirement I’d been attending interviews in various companies. I rejected some that required me to sit at home and continue giving them references of prospective candidates who can cut life insurance policies with them, and I’ll get a measly monthly amount for that and some commission of the successful policies that occur from my references. One particular company nearly got me in, but I escaped in the last moment finding the company very unprofessional and even unethical. In all, my experience was not good as all of them wanted me to be a life insurance agent, and earn regular income from commissions. As I mentioned my loathing above I never had even an ounce of aptitude for that kind of business that requires you to approach/request/beg/cajole people to buy policies. I made it very clear to them and was slowly moving away from all of them.

 

Before I go further, I must clarify that ‘life insurance agency business’ is not bad at all and only I find it extremely unsuitable for me. Therefore, I must tell all prospective retirees from relatively good jobs that if they want to earn regular income from selling policies directly or through references to the company involved they can indeed go for it, but they must remember that they’ll have to make a sizeable investment in terms of buying policies at the beginning of this career. If you abhor the idea of being an agent then I must warn you to never respond to such calls. I understood the business-strategy of almost all of the private insurance companies very clearly indeed: they target the retiring people specifically, because most of them remain fit for work after the age of sixty; with their long career in relatively good positions they tend to have lots of friends/families/ex-colleagues and connections that may translate into references; and most importantly, they mostly carry home a good pension package. That ‘package’ is the primary target for the companies to tap as hard as possible like the vultures hunting for and pecking the corpses.

.

I told my preferences to the executive of the KLI the same thing that I didn’t want it because I neither wanted to nor have the interest to function as an agent. The executive very cordially told me that I was being considered for a job in the research and recruitment capacity with a monthly salary and allowances. He repeated the same thing on my insistent queries. So, I decided to give it a try and went over to their office.

 

After an interview with an experienced associate working with them from outside and an objective test I was selected within two days. I was happy to find the whole of them very professional and friendly, and I thought I made quite a few very good friends in that short time. Another manager held a session with me and other candidates like me, both retired and young ones, explaining the ‘verticals’ and the stipends plus monthly salaries plus allowances associated with the offer. Then, contrary to my hope of getting an appointment letter they informed me that I’d have to appear in the examination held regularly for life insurance agents. I refused straightaway reminding them of my unwillingness to become an agent. They convinced me that to begin the job in a field one must know the basics and that all of the employees and outside agents/associates in the company had also to pass the exam compulsorily. So I finally decided to take the exam, took their training for five days and secured 82% in the exam which made them extremely happy.

 

Then came the big catch: I’ll have to buy some of the policies to get the offer and more number of policies to get a coveted membership of a company club that offered incremental incentives and the opportunity to attend an annual conference in a five-star resort for two days. They did the calculations for the annual premium for me which I found to be quite huge to afford being a pensioner, but they assured me that my monthly income plus increasing commissions would more than compensate for that, and further, that I had the option of surrendering the policies after three years if I so desired. But how since I cannot approach/request/beg/cajole other people? They gave me the way to buy those in my wife’s name who was still eligible as per age. I found all this okay and also discovered the huge benefits in terms of cashbacks/bonuses/savings in the policies of various types even if you continue to be alive which changed my concept about life insurance policies. Besides, almost all of the policies came with what they called ‘riders’ offering various extra benefits.

 

So I went ahead and cut or what they called ‘log-in’ a number of policies. From the month of February 2020 I started to attend their training program that continues for a year—starting with week initially and then once every month for which they give a monthly stipend. In March that year I was given the opportunity to be present while the experienced associate was interviewing someone for recruitment and that marked the start of my ‘supposed’ job. Later in March I had to visit Mumbai for a week, but got locked up in the house there due to the first lockdown in view of the COVID-19 pandemic. The training became online and I attended till about the month of May after which I grew restless, because the whole of the training was about techniques of ‘how to sell policies’ which I never wanted. I told them so and demanded an appointment letter for the job offered for which I qualified fulfilling all their requirements, the promised stipend, the monthly salaries and the incremental allowances due to my club membership. Nothing came out of it and I stopped attending the training in protest.

 

They continued to keep in touch though and reminded me of the five-star conference in February 2021. Although we planned to go there before that it was not possible due to health reasons and I missed the conference, but their calls did continue. We returned to Kolkata in mid-March 2021 informing them of arrival the same day. Suddenly, the calls stopped. When I called up my recruiting manager telling him that I could not earn a single paisa so far apart from my commissions earned out of my own money he said that he was very busy for year-ending completions and would ideally arrange a meeting the next month for considering my benefits and the future course of my ‘job’. Nothing happened.

 

When I called him again in May he said most of them including him got the virus and some of them were in hospitals. This made me feel sorry, and I decided to wait during which I too got sick with acute gastric, the lockdowns also continued. The months of July, August and September passed without any response from them, even though offices were allowed to function by then. I knew now that I lost the so-called job and also understood the reason why. Well, they realized that I could no longer log-in policies on my own as my wife was past that cut-off age and that I had no children who can also be candidates to make policies in their names. In the meantime several calls from some ‘relationship’ managers from Mumbai came to me referring to my ‘inactivity’ to which I made them aware of my no-job-no-income story every time. Still nothing came out of it. But ‘business’ means strictly ‘business’ for them.

 

Finally, I decided to call it a day allowing the policies to lapse which amounted to a huge financial loss, but even if I pay for the third year I’ll get only get 30% of the paid premiums and that assured amount will be still less than the annual premium that has to be paid if I continue for the mandatory third year. The bank under the same Kotak umbrella, an account in which became mandatory once I reported as an agent or a part-time ‘employee’, also behaved funnily.

 

While in Mumbai they offered me a free credit card and when I told the lady executive that the card had to be couriered to my Mumbai address she said no problem noting down the address meticulously. Finally I came to know that the card was sent to my registered address and went back. The bank sent an executive to my home when we came back to Kolkata and he completed all the formalities. Yet the card never arrived this time too, even as they maintained my card details very lovingly in my net banking account. Then, a call came from an executive of the bank offering me more card benefits. ‘I beg your pardon! Where is the card?’ I responded. The executive was surprised in a profound way and promised to deliver it within a week. It never arrived till date.

 

Well, enough of this! I’m relieved that I’ve decided to be rid of them about whom I always had a very positively professional image—their company being fully India-born and one of the topmost earners of revenues/profits annually. Is all this due to the pandemic or the endemic or the epidemic? Anyone cares to explain please? Never ignore the advice of your wife! My wife did indeed warn me before the I took the plunge as I finally wanted her to benefit more.