Check! Check! Breakfast Testing!

It happened twice! In the span of only a week or a mere seven days! If I was bemused in the first instance which was only natural and had the inclination of dismissing it with a grunt, the second instance made me veritably confused! It put me in the ‘search’ mode—the search for possible answers to a query that is as mundane and foolish as it could be! Damn it! I’ve lived my entire life with it: right from the birth time and date; all the time while growing up; all the time while socializing, working or traveling. It’s always been considered an integral part of living—something very important and even sacred. I even discussed the issue with my wife and she opined that it must have had something to do with people’s perceptions while endorsing my lifelong perceptive or otherwise truth of living as well as hers.

So, what the hell does ‘breakfast’ mean? Such a question would make anyone angry and annoyed, obviously. But I still wanted the answers, realizing the conflict raging inside me which was so immensely capable of making me disoriented and lost. I searched up the internet for the meaning or possible applications of the word ‘breakfast’. The explanations confirmed more or less fully my understanding of the word: that it means a morning meal or the first meal of the day; that it means the same if we split up the word into ‘break’ and ‘fast’—‘breaking’ the ‘fast’ meaning normally we retire to bed having our supper and don’t get up in the middle of the night to meddle with the cold sausages in the fridge which means further that while sleeping we rather biologically launch ourselves into a night-long fast that is not eating or drinking anything unless in an emergency and thus get up in the morning to break our fast.

Foodies, dieticians and all of that ilk alike emphasize the importance of this first meal of the day, and how balanced and nutritious it must always be. A few generous souls of the net also explain further that people may take similar foods like that in their breakfast anytime in the afternoon or in the evening too. But they normally call it afternoon or evening snacks and would never call it breakfast. I think nobody would ever say “I have eaten my breakfast in the evening” unless, of course, extraneous circumstances forced him/her to remain empty-stomach throughout the day!

Okay! Perhaps I will have to give another concession or make an exception in a country like India where fasting is very common among the population, due to reasons of religiosity, spirituality, ritualistic customization or simply dieting. Therefore, in cases like these they may be on fast not only during the night-slumber, but also during the whole day, and ideally, they’d break their fast with a sumptuous meal in the evening/night. But even then, they’d not call it breakfast or morning meal; they’d call it the fast-breaking meal. Besides, like breakfast it can’t be the first meal of the day, because most of them continue to drink and take fasting items like fruits, salad and other non-rice and non-roti dishes cooked without oil and masala. I think we don’t need to state that some of the blissfully fasting souls end up eating more during the ‘fasting’ hours. In any case, as the experts confirm, if you take your first meal before sunrise you can call it early breakfast and if you take it after 10-11am you can call it a late breakfast, and that breakfast can never be later than ‘lunch’ under any circumstances.

However, those two instances I aforementioned belied and defied all such explanations, perceptions and convictions.  

In the first incident I received an invitation to an evening local event the schedule of which said ‘breakfast’ at the end of the program. I laughed over it and dearly wanted to say to the organizing secretary ‘I really enjoyed the menu of the breakfast!’ which I didn’t finally say lest it would hurt their feelings whatever those could be.

As I indicated earlier, the second incident was of a more serious nature. A septuagenarian neighbor visited us in that evening, just about five days after the first incident. He was telling us about how satisfying was the felicitation given to him for the release of his first book.

“The program started around 4 o’clock. There were lots of presentations, lectures including mine, musical interludes and prayers for his good health and the wellbeing of the whole neighborhood! It continued till about 6 o’clock. After that there were informal meetups, photo sessions, selfies and all that. Finally, we had our breakfast at 7 and left the venue shortly thereafter. It took us nearly three hours to reach home due to traffic…” he paused as I, confused, interjected.

“So, you stayed there overnight?”

“No, we left the same day as I just told you! We got home after 10 o’clock!”

“But the program was in the afternoon, no?”

“Yes, right!”

I gave it up looking helplessly at my wife. She gave me a reassuring look that seemed to say what she did say later. Perceptions, huh? And then my frantic search began! 

Business and Politics of Not Eating!

Thanks to the crusader against corruption Anna Hazare, fasting or basically not eating has become a hot selling property. Almost everybody ranging from politicians to spiritualists are vying to have a tryst with this phenomenon. The craze is simply explained by the media attention amounting to hype the act of fasting generates. Add on benefits are also apparent where politics take over.The fasting personalities catapult themselves in the national or even international platform for future aspirations.

The state of Gujarat in north western India is presently witnessing fast and counter fast. The Chief Minister of the state, Narendra Modi,  has launched his three day fast at an air conditioned auditorium on a goodwill mission for communal harmony. Justifiably so, since the Chief Minister belonging to the main opposition party at the national level has been ravaged by communal controversies since last nearly ten years with several court cases running. But his actual progress initiatives in the state has got a lot of appreciation from many quarters including even the US. Now this performance factor got the counter fast in action by an ex minister belonging to the ruling party at the national level. Narendra Modi being talked about as the prospective Prime Minister of India post 2014 general elections is reason enough for one or a series of counter fasts.

We have heard about hard working people struggling to make ends meet in trying to eat to live. But now, we have the bizarre pleasure of seeing people spending fortunes in not eating! Why don't they fast at their homes and use the expenditures of not eating to help starving people eat a bit?

NGOs should actively consider holding a national fasting competition for politicians. Entry fee must be the amount equal to or more than the applicant's food bill for his/her entire household for one full year. Top three awards for the best no-eaters should be like this: First Award must be the adoption ten starving beggars, second for adopting seven and third for adopting five starving beggars. Consolation awards consisting of adopting one starving beggar should be awarded to all the participants.

Fast starve and be eerie! 

Now Showing: The Greatest Fasting Spectacle On Earth!

Anna Hazare was arrested early morning yesterday and was reportedly allowed to go free by evening. But since then, Anna Hazare has been refusing to leave Tihar Jail, Delhi that has meantime become a tourist spot globally. Apart from people of all walks of life having an electrifying time out there bestowed with generous attention by the ecstatic news channels 24 hours a day, famed spiritualists, self styled saints babas sadhus and what not have congregated there to mediate and convince Anna that the jail was not a very healthy place to live in for long and that too inhabited by very embodiments of corruption he was fighting against.Even the harassed jailors politely asked Anna to leave as soon as possible.

But Anna is not convinced at all. He wants  to fast unto death wherever he is and will  leave only if he is allowed to carry on at a prime venue of the national capital. The problem does not stop there as the question of how long to fast is the basic issue. The hapless government offers him the same venue where the fraud Baba staged his antics leading to a controversial endgame only recently and also offers him 7 to 10 days of splendid fasting. One channel citing sources said that Team Anna was more or less agreeing to that, but some member did not agree, wanting at least a month. So, now the fight of 'Our Bill' Vs 'Your Bill' has transformed into 'Our Conditions' Vs 'Your Conditions'! Extraordinary! People fight hard for food while these noble souls are fighting to fast!

We tend to see a plot there if we think like a commercial formula film producer. You obviously know the impact of a sympathy wave if you create tragic conflicts tension and drama. Now, with Anna languishing in a jail is some sympathy and he out of jail is no sympathy unless he goes empty stomach for as many days as possible-at least a month. Civil society members who have become global celebrities thanks to Anna just cannot afford to let go. The greatest fasting show of the world must be continued at all costs.

The question is how the government failed to anticipate this plot and walked straight into the trap watched gleefully by the opposition political parties. While the government is having the worst of both worlds, the opposition is devouring the cake and the pudding too! 

If corruption was a man of flesh and blood he would have already laughed himself to death setting free the wonder that is India completely! What?

Did someone utter 'Lokpal Bill'? Well, we completely forgot about it! Anyway, what was that?  If you know kindly  spread the knowledge among the captive crowds littering streets and campuses in many parts of the country day and night chanting only 'Anna', 'Anna'!