It’s not always necessary to go into the oft-repeated health hazards while trying to convince you to give up smoking. There are numerous equally hazardous and compelling reasons to inspire you kick the dirty habit.
Pictures Grotesque: The very pack you pay money to buy contains horrendous pictures on its surface with a lot of gore thrown liberally in. Beholding the bloody insides of your body on the outside you must feel nausea surging inside you making you crawl away from the filtered pieces within. Recently the pictures have become still more gut-wrenching.
Prohibited Areas: If you happen to visit a smoking prohibited area and feel the urge you must prepare for the worst. The habit is considered to be so dirty that you will be directed to the garbage dump behind the toilets to do your act by some understanding inmates you choose to ask for guidance. The stink you so ardently desire to put into your system will be totally overpowered by the all-pervasive stink available freely around.
Trains and Railway Platforms: If you want to enjoy a long train journey in India you better kick the habit first. Else the ‘toilet’ syndrome of this dirty habit will make you feel like a rat. You cannot definitely do it in your compartment or in the passages or even in the platforms. Only place left will be the toilets. If you want to degrade yourself, enter one and satiate your incorrigible urge you may still find railway guards waiting to charge you a huge fine when you come out.
Public Places: To do your act in a public place you will have to acquire the acumen of a perfect thief. You look surreptitiously around trying to spot a location away from the public onlookers and alert yourself for any lurking danger. And of course, there are dangers like landmines. After somehow accomplishing your feat you stub out the butt under your feet and suddenly find municipal workers appearing out of nowhere to charge you with a huge fine.
Hotels, Malls and Multiplexes: You are likely to be on the run endlessly finding a spot to do your act when you visit a hotel or a mall or a multiplex. In unfortunate cases you will never find one and in less fortunate cases you will be summarily directed by the rude attendants to a special room. Once you enter the claustrophobic unkempt mess and confusion inside will not only drive your urge out instantly but also drive you physically out.
At Home: You may feel your home sweet home will be the final place of solace where you can do it anytime and in gay abandon. You are insanely wrong, my dear dirty friend. If your wife is of the aggressive kind she may chase you around with a broom and if your wife is a bovine variety she may feign into a fit of instant and unstoppable coughing looking helplessly at you the moment you start your act. If you have children too you are likely to be thrown out of your home sweet home. You may still go to your balcony to have it nice and cozy, but the stares and glares from balconies opposite will be enough to push you inside.
Add to these ‘dirty’ reasons the health hazards too. Finally you will have an overpowering urge to stub out your urge completely and for good. Amen!
(This piece is written from the point of view of an Indian male. Fortunately, female smokers are still a relatively rare species in India.)
