The Silence of the Lions!

 

There should absolutely be no doubt that our intention here is not to discuss or re-review the all-time epic movie ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ (1991). However, we still hope to derive some brownie points from the movie title about our proposed speculation on the phenomena of the silences of any kind—wholly related to the animal world. Now, this ‘silence’ of the ‘lambs’ is very clear in its obvious manifestation of a paralyzing terrifyingly petrifying fear of the profoundest kind, because the lambs are basically defenseless animals having no effective systems to ward off the free-flowing predators. They have no other option but to remain silent which is not so often of the discreet or non-discreet variety, because, again, they have no other practical choice. Unless, of course, should some marauding defenders appear in great numbers to fight for the rights of the lambs.  

As our fully intended title suggests, it’s about the silence of any other species of animals except for those similar to the lambs, that is to say, differentiating the herbivorous from the predatory carnivorous ones. While it’s very natural, as we’ve already discussed, for the herbivores to maintain a dazed silence very often in their daily existence it’s intriguing as to why the carnivores should consider observing silence at all. And that too, of the mighty lions—the uncrowned king of the animals. Since we’d already committed ourselves to having our speculation on this there’s no escape route immediately available for us.

So then, let’s consider as to why the mighty lions could suddenly fall silent, if ever at all. Some basic reasons do come to our speculative mind or should we say intellect: that the species of the lions might have perceived some weird notion of losing their majority in the jungles; that they’ve become increasingly aware of the tremendous growth and development of an unknown species; that, more or less as a consequence of the previous two, their hard-earned title as ‘The King of the Animals’ has been coming under a palpable threat; and that, despite their constant vigil, the canny species of the jackals, the wolves and also the somewhat nonchalant hyenas have been able to accommodate themselves with more and more meat bones and thus looking ominously empowered to corner them.

But we can easily give a counter to each of the possible reasons: even if they lose majority which is as impossible as a day collapsing into a night at noontime they’d still be able to command the animal world thanks to their time-tested might. Yes of course, new species do come up while old species wane; however, the mighty lions have not, of late, shown any decline in their claw-punch power and as their illustrious existential history amply demonstrates they’re immensely capable of getting any perceptible or real threat nipped in the bud. Combined with these two strengths the title threat can be easily overlooked. And, of course, the lions should hardly be bothered about what the lesser ones do all the time; at best, the mischievous jackals or wolves or hyenas would only to able to give a bad name to the jungle kingdom, maybe one more time.

How is it even possible to imagine the lions would growl no more? The reverberating rich baritone, the majestic and the supremely beautiful arrogant growls that constantly mystify the jungle and that echo through the days and nights, unceasingly! About to go into oblivion? No, absolutely not! Our speculation is baseless and is utterly bereft of any semblance of a reason! And just for the record: the prowling predators of any kind or species do always observe the customary moments of a strategic silence before they launch themselves overpoweringly on their prey!

The Datas of Petty Things!

Don’t confuse the ‘data’ in its statistical implications, here it means ‘giver’ (as per some Indian languages) or rather a ‘service provider’—the latter being the most suitable one for our purpose. Because this story refers to a DTH service provider; a service provider that is believed to have legendary origins as far as its services in a range of arenas is concerned. And this story is as told to me by a friend, and I’ve still kept it in first person, meaning him, the narrator.

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One fine morning as I switched on my modest television set I got setup for an unpleasant surprise, literally out of the blue! The message from the service provider, the Dataslay, got fixated at the baseline of the screen, telling me that my monthly charges of such and such amount are due in four days. Why! I paid an amount much higher than the monthly charges less than a month back, and as per the text message, sent by the service provider to my mobile phone immediately after the payment, my due date was still about twenty days away.

 

I thought it was a mistake which is likely to be rectified in the next two or three days, definitely before the incorrect due date. This thought was in respect of the legendary DATAs who, I persisted, couldn’t possibly cheat an insignificant but regularly-paying customer over an utterly insignificant amount of about 200 rupees. But I was dreadfully wrong.

 

The baseline notification refused to budge, and on the day before the recharge date to prevent deactivation I had to ring up the Dataslay Helpline. I told the lady executive my peculiar problem. To my horror, she didn’t know anything, in all her articulated innocence! I couldn’t believe this: she must be having my account right before her on the computer screen with all the details and the billing statements for months or even years stored there! I repeated my issue telling her to explain how on earth my monthly charges could suddenly increase by about 200 bucks without any new subscribed channels or packages or anything from my side in the last few months. But she persisted with her innocence.

 

She said they were very sorry for the inconvenience thus caused and would do everything possible so that my account doesn’t get deactivated. She kept on asking me what was the package or the extra channels I subscribed to which I told her to check on my account right before her. But she preferred to ignore it. And then she not only did offer an immediate solution but implemented it in an instant without giving me any time to consider it: that my account is re-subscribed with the economical basic package; that my monthly charges become less than the earlier regular amount as, I understood later, all of my additionally subscribed channels have disappeared; and that my new recharge date is in the coming two days.

 

I got as brutally surprised as I was horrified to watch the new notifications on my TV screen. The same evening I sent them an email mentioning all the details and even copy-pasting their previous text message after the payment I made last. The reply mail informed me that I’d be contacted within the next twenty-four hours. At around noontime next day, one male executive contacted me, again asking for the details. Dear me! What details they want now! I just told him that I needed an explanation as to how my monthly charges inexplicably    increased by 200 rupees. At last showing some concern he asked for a few minutes, assuring me that he’d get back soon.

 

However, hours later a lady executive called me, again asking me for the details. As I began by saying she should be the best placed to know she cut the line. In the following three hours there were two miscalls—I noticed that the calls were of extreme short duration so that, perhaps, I didn’t have the time to answer. Exasperated now, I embarked upon a frantic internet search for the top managers of Dataslay and found one top manager whose email address was available. I sent a mail detailing everything about the issue, including the response received so far.

 

Yet nothing happened. Except for me finding another two miscalls the next day, again of extreme short duration. In the evening I found another email asking me to give them an alternative mobile number as if they were so very pained and pissed at not being able to contact me. I decided to ignore that, somewhat resigned to fate now.

 

In the meantime the screen baseline kept on warning me about the impending deactivation if I failed to recharge. I decided to ignore, again. And the DTH connection was indeed deactivated the next day. Holy shit! I couldn’t believe that such a trade giant could be so concerned about earning or losing a meagre 200 bucks. I also had no information that the big giant is in any sort of a decapitating financial crisis. Okay, I decided, let them have my 200 bucks and get the richest among all giants existing. But, of course, I do retain my power of depriving them of one customer, permanently. And I do have my principles too, irrespective of the money involved. Yes, I am not going to recharge and will let the account die an unnatural death while looking for a new service provider of which there is no dearth. Well, I don’t mind for my loss. God has given me enough power still to help the desperately needy or the greedy with those small amounts, for a limited period, of course.

*

My friend ends the story there. What do you think of it? Personally speaking, I found it utterly unbelievable, considering such desperation from one of the top giants nearly implausible. What about the poor then who struggle for less than 200 bucks for a daily existence?

Megablock on a Metro!

 

It was early afternoon on a hot and humid day with the sun playing hide and seek with the non-threatening clouds. I hoped there wouldn’t be many takers for the special seats on the metro trains at this unfriendly hour, but I was wrong. As I boarded the seemingly empty train and marched toward the special section of the coach I found all the seats occupied, and more worryingly, a few oldies were standing, crouching hopefully and watchfully around the seats.

 

I stood in front of the two-seater and immediately found a frustrated oldie arguing with one of the two seated seniors to make way for him to sit as he fervently pointed toward the three-seater where a fourth person was accommodated. The defendant argued that the two-seater is a new addition and very narrow making it extremely unhealthy to accommodate a third passenger. Finding no support coming his way the plaintiff slowly moved away in search of greener pastures in the next coach. ‘Shit! They’ve already unlearnt the Covid lessons!’ I thought ruefully. The other oldie that looked much older and emaciated, in his early seventies or probably more, seated next to the defendant was fully absorbed in his smart phone.

 

Suddenly there was some movement in the two-seater that I missed as I leaned against the steel railing looking at the full length of the coach, trying to enjoy the scenario. It was too late! I discovered that the emaciated oldie got up and the seat was taken instantly by the not necessarily nearest standee. In fact I was the nearest. The defendant smiled at me in a rather curious way, muttering something that I failed to catch.

 

After maybe around three minutes the emaciated oldie came back and the new occupier had to vacate, to his silent chagrin. ‘What’s he doing? Confused about his destination and asking around or what?’ I thought. I looked at the defendant. He again smiled at me, this time understandingly, although I again failed to understand, this time miserably.  

 

Hardly two stations passed by when the emaciated oldie stood up again on a new lease of movement. The standee, frustrated previously, made no move this time; looking glum and fearing a repeat if he went for it. Not knowing exactly about the correct course of my action, I, being the nearest, logically sat down. I thought even a two-minute comfort was going to do only good to my aching knee joints. Now, I could clearly hear the amused muttering emanating from the defendant, sitting next to me. He told me that the emaciated oldie was extremely preoccupied with his mobile and was showing it around to almost all the passengers, consulting them avidly. He also added that though he couldn’t figure out what the problem was he overheard something about ‘blocking’. ‘So, he is expected to resume his seat anytime soon!’ I muttered back to him now.

 

I saw him consulting the seated oldies in the opposite bench, showing his phone liberally. And obviously, getting fed-up perhaps, he came back for the seat reclamation. As I prepared to make way for him he motioned me to sit on and adjusted himself somehow in the middle. That move surprised me to no less bit; however, his next move explained why.

 

This time he showed his phone to me, opening up the WhatsApp message page. He pointed to a number that had no name to it.

“I want to block this number! Do you know how?” he asked me in utter helplessness.

“Oh! You really need to block him or her?” I confirmed.

“Yes, yes!”

I showed him how. Simple and sweet! The emaciated oldie blocked the number immediately and launched himself fully on his now-fructifying mission. If he was excited and elated by that simple discovery he didn’t show it. He just mumbled something without moving his eyes from the device and I interpreted it as a customary ‘thank you’. Most probably!

 

My station came and I alighted. My peripheral vision informed me that even though the emaciated oldie remained glued to his instrument with his newfound knowledge he was circumspect enough to not allow anyone to propel into the third possible spot. As I walked to the station exit I smiled to myself, thinking, ‘A lot of people could be going to be affected by his educated tantrums! But why should I be worried? I’d not be responsible at all for all the megablocks he may have already created or might be creating in the foreseeable future! And anyhow, ‘blocking’ has of late become a somewhat necessary exercise!’