It's out of piercing anguish and pain that makes me
write these lines. The fundamental fact of life is that it has always been
imperfect. Nothing about human beings and their society is perfect. Perfection
always remains a dream, perhaps the way God desires.
The institution of marriage was born and evolved out of sheer necessity. And,
since a long time back this system had been marked as one of the most imperfect
or even regressive ones. There were love marriages or arranged marriages, but
it got proved again and again that there was no guarantee of happiness in
either. Divorce thus has become the order of the day in almost all countries
and with it women's liberty has been the thundering clarion call. Nothing wrong
in that, absolutely.
But, what have we got as a result? Mangled and chopped bodies of women in all
corners of our country? Yes, you can put in immediately a reference about the
horrible dowry deaths, the honor killings, subjugation of the fairer sex within the four walls and
the numbing atrocities committed in the streets, in cars and so on. Well, I
must clarify that I'm not in support of any system created by the flesh and
blood of humans.
However, the institution of marriage still has some advantages: marriages
happen mostly between known families with their social status also known;
things are always sorted out, allowing the boy and the girl know each other
well; and of course, there is always a family support system in case the couple
face problems.
But what about the live-in system that apparently grants full freedom to women
to choose their partners and which in turn ensures women liberty? Well, how do
they choose? From the extremely superficial and dangerous social media platform
or from the casual working/drinking/smoking sessions? Okay, let it be,
dedicated to the ideal of an equal society. But how do they know each other
before deciding on a live-in relationship? Who are there to protect the girls
who suddenly discover the monsters within their liberated four walls? Physical
inequality is something that has to be accepted by all, and the concerned
parents, despite living in a digital egalitarian world, still cry scandal or
stigma in case of live-ins concerning their children and insulate themselves
against any interaction. So, the girls are left alone to fight the monsters—fights
they cannot realistically hope to win.
The emerging situation is in India at the moment thus suffocating and unbearable with the chosen male life-partners cum monsters killing and chopping the bodies of their supposed beloved, storing the parts in fridges or throwing outside and some perverts even roasting or cooking those parts. Again, no perfect
solution for all such imperfect systems! The immediate solution that comes to
the mind is that of granting a legal recognition to live-ins, although live-in relationships in India at the moment are not illegal either, in terms of at
least a provisional registration and a certificate like in the institution of
marriage. Or that of a mandatory courtship period in the process of
registration? At the same time, the self-assertive girls should apply full
caution and doubly ensure safety, identifying the true colors of the persons
they're going to live-in with, and their families must not wave their hands in
absolute surrender and instead, try to keep up social mixing. Besides, the
politicians must desist from making brownie points in sourcing out the faith or
caste or religion related identities of the perverted perpetrators, and
instead, focus their movements on girl-safety and reducing crimes against
women.
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