Humor: The Virtual Travel Package!

Emboldened by his earlier encouraging experiencewith the banking hawks Mr. Thames Pond decides to carry on from there. He takes a pledge to encounter any call from any credit card or banking executive with guts and intelligence. He must ensure that he refuse all unnecessary offers or entrapments. He’d no longer be vulnerable. And then, as usual, he gets a call right away…

  

“Hello…am I speaking to Thames Pond please?”

“Who’s this please?”

“This is Moneycanny Sir, from UC bank!...Mr. Pond?”

“Right, this is Pond. Thames Pond!”

“So nice to talk to you again! Good morning Sir!”

“Good morning..Ms. err…!”

“Mr. Pond…can I take just two minutes of your most precious time?”

“Regarding what?”

“Sir, you are one of our most privileged customers. We’ve reviewed your payment record over the years and found your credit history absolutely sound. Therefore, we’d like to offer you a rare privilege in terms of travel benefits. We are sending you a package of travel vouchers allowing you to have free five-star hotel comforts in various tourist locations you’d like to visit. We need your consent Sir so that we can forward that package to you readily.”

“You are giving me all these free, milady?”

“Absolutely Sir! This is our thanksgiving to one of our most privileged customers.”

“No payment? No hidden costs? Are you sure?”

“Yes Sir! All you have to do is to receive it!”

“Okay…in that case I can consider…Ms…err…!”

“Thanks Sir! Your package is worth more than ------ bucks. So there will be a service tax and other charges. You will pay an amount of ---- bucks for receiving the package. We’ll bill this amount in your next card statement…”

“Hey…wait a minute! What are you saying…I’ll have to pay to receive your benefits?”

“Right Sir! You are not making a payment, you are only paying taxes. Your package is worth a lot of money and so service charges apply naturally…”

“Wait a minute…you see…”

“Ours is one of the largest banks of the country with a huge network…”

“Hey..Ms…err…I’m not referring to your bank…I mean you see…that is you..and see here! You see…err…you…see…I will have to take leave from my office…book tickets…plan it perfectly to be able to avail of your travel package, right? And considering your five-star privilege I must travel by air…I cannot just crawl and slog to land up there, no? Now, the problem is it may not materialize in that specified period of yours…due to so many reasons…”

“But Sir, we expect you definitely won’t let go of such money-saving opportunity!”

“…Okay…you expect…I want too. But it is not in my hands. Now, if I fail to avail of your ‘free’ package why on earth should I pay you in advance? You send it…I’ll see, and then if I do travel and enjoy your five-star luxuries please bill the service charge…this makes perfect sense.”

“Sorry Sir! We offer you a value package and therefore we have to charge the service tax. Please confirm your agreement so that we can send it across immediately.”

“I’m sorry too…milady! I cannot give my consent…” (Cuts the line.) 

Mr. Pond watches his phone ring again. He rejects the call, deliriously happy. The process repeats itself one more time. Then silence as Mr. Pond indulges himself a broad grin.