Humor: Cash on the Cards!

Our friend Mr. Thames Pond often gets bogged down by his multiple credit card accounts. He tries to get rid of some now and then, but he gets into more traps and liabilities. On the top of it he gets bombarded with new and newer card offers. Due to his inability to refuse ladies he falls into the traps cleverly set by the card executives. He is particularly scared of the wily executive called Moneycanny whose name he cannot even clearly pronounce. He is getting another call from her now. As usual he prepares to get bold with her this time...

“Hello!”

“Hello! Can I speak to Mr. Pond please?”

“This is Pond. Thames Pond.”

“Good Morning, Mr. Pond. This is Moneycanny. Can I have two minutes of your time please?”

“Err…Ms…Regarding what?”

“Well, Sir, there is a special cash back offer for our most valued credit card holders like you.”

“Okay, tell me how do I get the cash?”

“The highest percentage cash back will be on your utility bill payments like telephone, mobile, electricity bills. This means you will regularly get some cash back every month. Then you will also get cash back on other transactions though at lower rates, but never less than one percent.”

“But I do not want to make any payments.”

“Sorry? You don’t make any bill payments or pay for other purchases?”

“I mean I don’t want to make any payment to you for this offer.”

“Oh… Mr. Pond! There is no such payment involved in this offer.”

“You mean to say I will keep on getting the cash back on just like that!”

“Definitely Sir, these are benefits for our privileged customers only. There is no annual fee and your lifetime free card is still valid with this offer.”

“Are you sure? What about hidden costs?”

“Mr. Pond, I assure you there is absolutely no hidden cost.”

“Ok then, I go game for some high cash!”

“Thanks and congratulations, Mr. Pond. I am enrolling you for this offer. Our executive will confirm your status through a phone call within twenty four hours. There is a onetime activation charge of a thousand bucks which will reflect on next month’s credit card statement.”

“I told you I am not going to make any payment to you for this offer. I asked you a thousand times about the charges. Now what’s this?”

“Sir, this is not a fee! Only an activation charge! Considering the cash backs you are sure to get continually this charge is just nothing.”

“My dear Ms…err…whatever you’d like to call this. You are making me pay thousand bucks and this will take me my lifetime to get that back through your cash backs. Sorry, I told you. Take me out of it.”

“Mr. Pond, please consider again. This offer ceases tomorrow.”

“It ceases right now for me, milady! …No payments please!”

“Thank you very much for your time Mr. Pond. Have a good day.”

“Thank you!” (click of phone disconnected)… “Ha! Ha! Ha! Got you this time, baby! Hurray!”