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All the Unknown Authors’ Money!


We’ve been very much used to lament ‘all the taxpayers’ money’ whenever we come across some embezzlement of public funds or plain acts of bribery and corruption. In this piece we’ve decided to confront a new but emerging phenomenon as should be clear from the title given. That day during a writer-authors’ conference one author made a disturbing observation on or perhaps lamented that ‘nowadays the number of authors has exceeded the number of readers’! That observation instantly found a sympathetic supporter in none other than this writer; because I’d dwelt on this post-modern phenomenon quite often and I’d even extended this realization to ‘there are more singers than listeners nowadays’ and of that kind. However, I don’t intend to analyze the nitty-gritty of such phenomena here apart from just saying that such brazenly emerging facts of life have been owed entirely to the social media and all digital formats that convinced a huge chunk of the users that they could indeed write and can be veritable authors, and due to which there’s been a tremendous boost in the recent decade in the self-publishing sector, indie sector, training agencies about how to write a book, formation of more and more award-giving organizations and in the advertising/marketing-of-books sector.

*I think this above mention is more than enough to indicate the kind of money the authors, unknown obviously, have been made to shell out in their dream of becoming successful authors. First, if they are not fully convinced by their skills embedded in social media posts they spend money on learning how to write a book in both fiction and non-fiction genres or how to write a novel or how to write a children’s book or whatever.

*Second, they spend a sizeable amount on their hard-earned money or in the case of the fortunate ones surplus money on publishing their books through the self-publishing or independently or hybrid publishing companies. Now, even though books should be considered as the genuine assets of any publishing company by promoting which they only stand to gain the maximum, such publishers put the onus on the authors on every possible opportunity of squeezing more and more money out of the hapless authors: like asking the authors to buy authors’ copes after dishing out the miserly complimentary copies or none at all; promote their books through marketing at their expense; asking for more money on the authors’ intention to change the cover page design or the blurbs or anything; asking for additional funds for reviews and press publicity; asking for astronomical amounts just to include their books in the international book fairs; and so on.

*Third, the authors, unknown mind you, are always vulnerable because after publishing their books they’d naturally want those to be read by as many as possible and to get some feedback, and therefore they easily fall into the ‘squeezing traps’ mentioned above. The publishers concerned understand this craving and so they keep on organizing interactive author events for which, again, they ask the authors to shell out more money just to attend and much more if they want to interact or launch their books or give self-promotion speeches cum display or participate in panel discussions.

*Fourth, the unknown authors never give up hope even after being handed out no-sales reports for months/years, and they naturally crave for some official recognition at least. Therefore, they give in to the lure of the award-giving companies some of whom sell the awards directly while others disguise it as taking the money for nomination/registration/participation fees, with some of them, again, are cruelly brazen enough to charge the authors even for nominating their books without a guarantee to win the awards. In the good old days authors, both known and unknown, used to get nominated for awards and get good prize money on winning the awards; but now one has to nominate oneself and that too after parting with a good sum of money.

*And not the least, although a few lucky writers, unknown of course, do get published by the traditional publishing houses who don’t charge money for the favor, these traditional publishing houses know very well that these guys are unknown entities or rather nonentities and so they do nothing to promote such books imposing the burden of the same plus innumerable ‘paid self-promotion drives’ on the already heavily-taxed authors.

 

While there’s no escape from the squeezing entrapment for which I cannot give any cure simply for the fact that every author has the right to aspire for attention or fame or recognition everything is not as bleak as seemingly suggested here. There are now several international digital self-publishing platforms like the Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) where an unknown writer/author can publish their books absolutely free of charge and in the case of KDP they get both e-book and paperbacks published with a free e-book enrollment in KindleUnlimited. Of course, the authors, as usual, crave for their books to be read and generate regular sales, and for that that they go on spending on advertising and marketing. The good thing is that on such marketing exercises one need not go for huge budgets and on account of the low-cost ads they can very well earn well through sales or being read on KNEP through nominal spending.

 

One must remember that even otherwise, meaning without having to go to make oneself an author by oneself only, every author or every book cannot expect to make it big; the tag of bestsellers is more of a magic than a thumping reality even for the celebrity authors. To not give up and keep on writing against all odds must have two basic considerations: that you are a writer by profession or passion or both, possibly making a living out of it, and it’s not just a hobby or pastime or ego; and that whether you are rich or not you must maintain a strict tab on your spends and expected earnings, preventing yourself from going over the top to finally succumb miserably to the luring offers from the publishers/trainers/marketers/reviewers/award-givers and so on. To end more positively, there's now no shame in self-publishing or indie publishing or anything of that kind; a good book can be a success irrespective of the platforms used. 


[Disclaimer: All the celebrity authors and all the authors that have made it big irrespective of the platforms chosen are respectfully excluded from this rather weird preview. And above all, this is not at all about complaining, it’s only about a fact of life in post-modern digital age.]

Professional of the Homely Variety!


He is of light medium build with specks of beard littering his round face and a balding head. He has a soft but monotonously lingering way of talking and is often not able or rather willing to concentrate on his work for more than say ten minutes; however, he, in his late fifties, doesn't offend his clients easily and manages to sail through on most occasions. Gunesh is a DTP operator with specialization in the vernacular languages which makes him stay in good demand. He works from his home that is dominated by his proactive better half. And this particular fact of his life does cause quite a bit of inconvenience to his clients. We have some information about a lady who's been suffering because of Gunesh's homely habits that include running off on a daily basis on various errands and desires of his wife even as clients who'd struggled hard to get the appoinments sit on in his homely chamber. 



By some quirk of fate the said lady who stays in a far-off city from Gunesh's got herself entangled in a project with him. And the project has just entered the seventh year without any tangible sign of completion. The lady plans her occasional visits to Gunesh's city and accordingly fixes up a few days work with him, begging him for the favor in a bid to complete the work; but everytime, invariably, Gunesh gets busy during those days and manages to keep the project pending still. 


The exasperated lady now decides that enough is enough. She plans one full week's visit and phones Gunesh in advance to sit with her continuously for a week to finish the work at any cost. As usual Gunesh shows no concern. He nonchalantly informs her that during that week the marriage of his immediate neighbor's daughter is to be solemnised and since traditional marriages in parts of Eastern India are elaborate affairs he will be extremely busy for at least five days. 


The infuriated lady mocks him, "What kind of professional you are? How could anyone afford to not work for five full days for a wedding in the neighborhood?"

"That's very rude, madam! You don't understand! We're very close! And even if I plan to work I can't, because the wedding pandal extends to my workplace!" Gunesh replies sullenly. 

"Why can't you understand that the project needs to be completed! I'm paying you regularly and yet...!"

"In that case take away whatever is in my computer and finish it with some other expert!" Gunesh plays his trump card, definitely not for the first time.

The lady gets worried knowing that finding another language operator is not going to be easy at all. On the other hand this trip of hers cannot be cancelled as she has already lined up few other urgent engagements too. There's no option but to coax him, she realises. 

"After seven long years it's cruel to suggest that. Okay! Help your neighbour and enjoy the ceremony. But please consider my plight too! Please give me at least three days after your five days so that we can complete it in my next visit!" 

"That's not possible at all, madam! It's not entirely because you just mocked and insulted my professional integrity but because after five days of compelling festivities I will be dead tired! I'd need at least two days' full rest! And one day's work is not gonna help you much! Right? So keep it for your next trip and I'll try my best to spare some time for you!"

Football Fever Next: The Much-Awaited FIFA World Cup-2022 Kicks Off from November 20 in Qatar!


The FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association) World Cup-2022, the quadrennial international football tournament, is set to begin from Sunday, 20 November till Sunday, 18 December in Qatar. The much-awaited event, coincidentally the 22nd version on 2022, has several other features: the first time ever it's being held in the Arab world or in the Middle East; the first time it's being organized during the northern autumn season (winter in India) instead of the usual summer months of May, June and July, and this decision was taken considering the intense heat conditions in Qatar during the summer; the FIFA World Cup event returns to Asia after 20 years and only the second time it's being hosted entirely in Asia; and it is the last tournament to be held with 32 teams, the decision finalized in 2017 to expand it to 48 teams from FIFA-2026 to be hosted by USA, Canada and Mexico. The inaugural match will be between host Qatar and Equador at 9.30 PM IST on 20 November, 2022. 



FIFA World Cup-2022 will have 8 Groups with 4 teams each and at the Group stage teams in each group will clash with each other on a round robin basis during November 20--December 3. The top two teams in each Group will progress to the last 16 or the pre-quarterfinal stage with each match on a knockout basis during 3--7 December. The quarterfinals are scheduled during 9--11 December; the semifinals on 14 and 15 December; the third place playoff match on December 17; and the Final on 18 December at 8.30 PM. Barring the first two days and an occasional day thence all days will have 4 matches a day--the first match starting at 3.30 PM and the next three till past midnight that is 12.30 AM the next day. These timings are for India only. There will be 64 matches in all and channel Sports 18 has bagged the telecast and streaming rights in India. This time the tournament has a reduced timeframe of 29 days. 


Therefore, in India this time the football fever will start from the afternoon hours every day instead of mostly the late night hours which had always had special effects of lightening, thunderstorms and pounding rains. France are the defending Champions of 2018, and it's time for you now to fix your favorite nations, teams and superstar players to cheer for all the way. Over to super soccer! 

England White-Ball World Champions! And What of Pakistan and India?


After being crowned with the ODI World Champions title in 2019 England today has completed the global white-ball supremacy by defeating Pakistan by 5 wickets in the ICC Men's T20 World Cup Final in Melbourne. Pakistan has almost done an India just managing to post a meagre target of 138 and consuming 15 overs to score 100 runs after being put into bat by England like in the semi-final against India; but the target came to be even less than India's 169 thanks to Hardik Pandya. However, their famous pace bowlers gave England a hard time and but for the resurgent Shaheen Afridi's injury who was unable to fully bowl the last two overs of his quota the match could've gone down the wire at the death. 


Like India, Pakistan openers failed once again to build the momentum and other Pak batsmen stumbled along, scoring a pitiful 18 runs in the last four death overs. But again, unlike India, they attacked England batsmen from the first over putting up two slips and not at all asking their wicketkeeper to come up to the stumps as if, in India's case, Bhuvneshwar Kumar got converted into a spinner. Like in the semi-final against India the magic-spinner Adil Rashid of England cast a spell over the  Pak batsmen, taking vital wickets and not giving away too many runs. The supposed countries of the legendary spinners and masterclass-strokers of spin have failed miserably to do the needful in the respective matches. 


Thanks to the Pak diehards we at least had a worthwhile Final keeping us glued till the last moments. Both the semi-finals were more agonizing in terms being extremely one-sided rather than only disappointing the respective fans: in the first it was kind of a cricketing enigma as to why New Zealand were so intimidated, not able to play even their usual in all departments of the game; and in the second the Indian scoring strategy, the bowling tactics and changes and the overall defense system were eye-opening examples about how not to play cricket. 


The once-upon-a-time colonial masters of both countries, mercifully, were not much discriminatory in dealing with them: defeating one by 10 wickets and the other by 5 wickets; and not at all resorting to the famous divide-and-rule policy which, unfortunately, continues to dominate politics of both countries. 


Any solace for the two Asian cricket giants? Well, first of all they must realise the fact that none of them looked the Champion stuff from the beginning of the tournament: Pakistan were on the brink thanks to their incredible defeats to India and Zimbabwe and finally they l made it to the semi-final due to another cricketing enigma of the Champion-looking-stuff South Africa losing to the Netherlands, and in a historical perspective, Pakistan always seem to make it big at the sole expense of New Zealand; and riding on their freaky wins over Pakistan and Bangladesh India only needed to defeat the Netherlands and Zimbabwe which they did convincingly after being rendered clueless by the Protea pacers to notch up 8 points-- the only team in the tournament to do so. However, in Pakistan's favor we must say that they tried very hard, winning three successive do or die matches convincingly and then only doing the waiting for the miracles, sort of. 


Secondly and as a corollary to the first both countries must feel contented that one made it to the semi-final which was the best possible result for their 'playing' team and the other made it to the Final against all odds and fighting it out very well too. 


Last but not the least, both countries do have their special areas of country-specific solace: Pakistan performing excellent in the shortest format despite not being a part of the 'empowering' IPL; and India having the solace of being able to defeat Pakistan, however incredibly. The biggest fools are those cricket mandarins and those crazy fans who expected and prayed vociferously for a India-Pakistan Final: pure business considerations for the former and the sheer frolic of the usual but rare subcontinental rivalry for the latter. 

The Blame Stops Here!


For anything bad that happens to us we tend, almost reflexively, to blame others for that. However, for all the good things that also happen to us we gratefully take the full credits, unable or mostly unwilling to appreciate the possible role of others in that. For example, when I slip on a wet spot of the tiled floor I reflexively thank God and my protecting angels for preventing a fall that could've been serious, if I am of the appreciating type. But someone of the blaming type would instantly burst into a furious verbal spree, blaming the carelessness of someone spilling water on the floor and going even to the extent of alleging a conspiracy to kill him or her. 


Some people are always in the search for a blameworthy person to pass on the blame for his/her concerned failures or mishaps. This is despite knowing for sure that the supposed failures or mishaps were creations of his/her own, entirely. 


It's really unfortunate that most people spend whole of their lives blaming others for everything. It never helps them in any way, it only makes them lead miserable and cantankerous lives. Wise people always tell us to sincerely acknowledge the fact that all our successes and failures remain our responsibilities, ours own only. However, I am not trying to moonlight as a preacher or adviser. I am only trying very hard to abide by, myself. So, we should always concentrate on the antonyms of 'blame' and not try to go on finding where to put the blame. Amen! 

Populated Movies Revisited!


Many years back I wrote a piece titled 'Populated Movies' that was later included in my first book 'Laugh and Let Laugh' in 2017. In that piece I argued that since India is an overpopulated country with high unemployment rates the creative art forms do adjust to that reality by trying to generate maximum employment opportunities in their projects. For example the goons in a mainstream Hindi movie: whereas just one bullet through the head by one villain is enough to kill the hero or the protagonist, the chief antagonist or the main villain sends an army of goons armed with an assortment of weapons for the job. I argued that this is done with a view to generate more employment. But I was mistaken, and so I just want to admit this here. 


My argument got almost fatally shot after I watched all the three movies of the 'John Wick Franchise' (2014 onward). I failed to keep count, but hundreds of hapless goons got killed in each of the movies at the hands of the 'legendary' assassin cum killing machine John Wick (played by Keanu Reeves). The goons keep on appearing out of what the moviemakers imply as the underworld of citizen assassins and which in fact threatens to take over the whole world. Of course there are some other movies too: 'Red' (2010) in particular where a secret agency launches veritable armies to kill a few retired agents. But John Wick Franchise should still qualify for the world record in this, barring the war movies, of course. With the upcoming John Wick-Chapter 4 in early 2023 this should not be a problem at all.


Now, America or for that matter the whole of the developed West doesn't have population issues, although does have unemployment niggles from time to time, particularly in the aftermath of the pandemic. Therefore, my argument of 'employment generation optimization' falls flat here. And so, we'll have to focus our attention on the other usual factors like wholesome booming entertainment that applies worldwide, and with special reference to America, factors like spreading the gun ideology and its consequent aspirations. Just another argument only, mind you! 

Courteously Yours!


Breakfast at the dining table. Two ladies are talking in a rapt engagement. They've finished breakfast and the teas, but perhaps the interesting subject of their conversation keeps them engaged still. The younger lady belongs to the host family while the elder lady happens to be a surprise guest. At this moment the younger lady is describing something animatedly. The elder lady listens resting her hands on the table and bending forward to the other lady. Suddenly, a tiny droplet of the younger lady's saliva shoots out and unfortunately, lands directly on the listening lady's right forearm. She, still in the act of listening, looks mournfully at the droplet, but is too courteous lest it draws the other lady's attention and make the whole innocuous happening unnecessarily embarassing. It is not at all known though if the talking lady notices it or misses it, she as innocent as the other lady. 


There has to be a bit of squirming inside the affected lady's mind, obviously. As the the talk doesn't seem to be ending soon the listening lady moves her victimised hand, almost as courteously imperceptibly as is possible, slides it slowly down the side of the table and rubs it on the hanging edge of the tablecloth.


As the keen observer of the unfortunate proceedings I do struggle to keep my composure too, and for the sheer love of courtesy do I try very hard indeed to not let any of the ladies become aware or conscious of anything. Fortunately the COVID-19 was not lurking anywhere near us then. 

Commotion at a Durga Puja!

  The Durga Puja pandal was quiet in the morning hours, except for the occasional bursts of incantations from the priests, amplified by th...