Check! Check! Breakfast Testing!

It happened twice! In the span of only a week or a mere seven days! If I was bemused in the first instance which was only natural and had the inclination of dismissing it with a grunt, the second instance made me veritably confused! It put me in the ‘search’ mode—the search for possible answers to a query that is as mundane and foolish as it could be! Damn it! I’ve lived my entire life with it: right from the birth time and date; all the time while growing up; all the time while socializing, working or traveling. It’s always been considered an integral part of living—something very important and even sacred. I even discussed the issue with my wife and she opined that it must have had something to do with people’s perceptions while endorsing my lifelong perceptive or otherwise truth of living as well as hers.

So, what the hell does ‘breakfast’ mean? Such a question would make anyone angry and annoyed, obviously. But I still wanted the answers, realizing the conflict raging inside me which was so immensely capable of making me disoriented and lost. I searched up the internet for the meaning or possible applications of the word ‘breakfast’. The explanations confirmed more or less fully my understanding of the word: that it means a morning meal or the first meal of the day; that it means the same if we split up the word into ‘break’ and ‘fast’—‘breaking’ the ‘fast’ meaning normally we retire to bed having our supper and don’t get up in the middle of the night to meddle with the cold sausages in the fridge which means further that while sleeping we rather biologically launch ourselves into a night-long fast that is not eating or drinking anything unless in an emergency and thus get up in the morning to break our fast.

Foodies, dieticians and all of that ilk alike emphasize the importance of this first meal of the day, and how balanced and nutritious it must always be. A few generous souls of the net also explain further that people may take similar foods like that in their breakfast anytime in the afternoon or in the evening too. But they normally call it afternoon or evening snacks and would never call it breakfast. I think nobody would ever say “I have eaten my breakfast in the evening” unless, of course, extraneous circumstances forced him/her to remain empty-stomach throughout the day!

Okay! Perhaps I will have to give another concession or make an exception in a country like India where fasting is very common among the population, due to reasons of religiosity, spirituality, ritualistic customization or simply dieting. Therefore, in cases like these they may be on fast not only during the night-slumber, but also during the whole day, and ideally, they’d break their fast with a sumptuous meal in the evening/night. But even then, they’d not call it breakfast or morning meal; they’d call it the fast-breaking meal. Besides, like breakfast it can’t be the first meal of the day, because most of them continue to drink and take fasting items like fruits, salad and other non-rice and non-roti dishes cooked without oil and masala. I think we don’t need to state that some of the blissfully fasting souls end up eating more during the ‘fasting’ hours. In any case, as the experts confirm, if you take your first meal before sunrise you can call it early breakfast and if you take it after 10-11am you can call it a late breakfast, and that breakfast can never be later than ‘lunch’ under any circumstances.

However, those two instances I aforementioned belied and defied all such explanations, perceptions and convictions.  

In the first incident I received an invitation to an evening local event the schedule of which said ‘breakfast’ at the end of the program. I laughed over it and dearly wanted to say to the organizing secretary ‘I really enjoyed the menu of the breakfast!’ which I didn’t finally say lest it would hurt their feelings whatever those could be.

As I indicated earlier, the second incident was of a more serious nature. A septuagenarian neighbor visited us in that evening, just about five days after the first incident. He was telling us about how satisfying was the felicitation given to him for the release of his first book.

“The program started around 4 o’clock. There were lots of presentations, lectures including mine, musical interludes and prayers for his good health and the wellbeing of the whole neighborhood! It continued till about 6 o’clock. After that there were informal meetups, photo sessions, selfies and all that. Finally, we had our breakfast at 7 and left the venue shortly thereafter. It took us nearly three hours to reach home due to traffic…” he paused as I, confused, interjected.

“So, you stayed there overnight?”

“No, we left the same day as I just told you! We got home after 10 o’clock!”

“But the program was in the afternoon, no?”

“Yes, right!”

I gave it up looking helplessly at my wife. She gave me a reassuring look that seemed to say what she did say later. Perceptions, huh? And then my frantic search began!