WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

'What is your name?'
'My Name Is Khan!'
'What's your problem?'
'I don't know! I'm only a film made for people to see! But they are fighting, preventing and lobbying over me! Have they gone nuts or few of them having nothing meaningful to do?'

'What is your name?'
'My name is Mumbai! The capital of Maharashtra, the financial capital of India, the Bollywood of world cinema, the business hub of the globe!'
'What's your problem?'
'I don't know! Some blockheads have restricted my reach or rather tried to! Why don't they understand that to really restrict me they must close all airports, all sea or river ports, all bus or railway stations, all roadways; then fence me up and all prisoners live happily ever after!'

'What is your name?'
'My name is India!'
'What's your problem?'
'My friend, my problems are many. Latest one is that some tried to cut a vital organ out of my body! I pride in having all races, languages, religions and cultures within me in varied unity and peace! Definitely there will be problems. It's really irritating that the greatest wrongdoers call themselves the greatest patriots!'

'What is your name?'
'My name is Mother Earth!'
'What's your problem?'
'The fools called human beings. I'm for them only, yet they mess me up, rot me up, tear me up and what not. I warn them and I mean it this time: Better unite or lose me forever! You see, there are other parties in the universe who promise me a much better future!'

Team India: Hardly No.1 Stuff!

That Team India were without Dravid, Laxman and Yuvraj hardly gave the all-important excuses. This was simply not performance expected from a No.1 team who liked to occupy the spot for a long time. Australia's and even South Africa's reserve players always came good in need and this is what make them the fittest contenders for the No.1 spot.

Why then all the din about encouraging and nurturing young players in India? Well, the most important consideration here is making money and continuing to do so. They, the Board, want young players for the entertaining varieties of the game like the ODIs and T20. Anyway, Dravid and Laxman were already discarded from ODIs due to age, but since they still have resale value they still play in T20. So logically they cannot depend on them to deliver in Test cricket. If you find it paradoxical just ask the Board.

Here is a solution! Henceforth all cricket in India must be permanently linked to entertainment industry. Give breaks to new 'heroes', give them all the money and make them earn more money for you. IPL T20 matches are of three hours each and they are already hailed as cricket movies! For the IPL Season-3 movie theaters are planning to telecast the matches live in the big screens along with popcorn-cola! Why bore people with five endless days of cricket or even one full day of mindless cricket?

Indian cricketers are to be called now 'entertaining T20 movie super models' Now Showing: the latest sensational Cricket Movie! Starring... Book in advance! Don't dare to miss it!

Food Inflation: Sugar Positive!

With the food inflation of India raging at over 17.5% common people do not know what to eat or not to eat and the government does not know what to do. Recently there had been shifting of responsibility from one to the other.

Greatly concerned, the Prime Minister today held a meeting with the state Chief Ministers of India and assured that the worst was over. There are huge stocks of staple foods like wheat and rice and the situation will be under control soon, he stated. The Prime Minister also warned the black marketers against holding back stocks and that stringent action would be taken against the guilty.

In the midst of all these one national political party gave the most practical piece of advice possible. 'Eat less sugar, death won't come because of that!' 'Better,if you reduce sugar you won't have diabetes!' ' Let increase in sugar prices serve you better!' While in Assam recently some friends confessed to me that this inflation had given them a unique opportunity to either give up or reduce sugar intake! Care noticing such positive vibes oozing out of a negative phenomenon!

Considering the spread of diabetes in India the political party said it right! But, what about flour, rice, pulses and vegetables? Have mercy!